Arsenic Brownies (VHS 85)

Cold Open

Honestly, this was a little bit upsetting because

it was just some hating ass shit. On this friend

group's vacation, there's only one couple. They're

all camping out in the woods, so there's not

really going to be opportunities for alone time.

And I think most people would agree that getting

it in on vacation just hits differently. No pun

intended, but miraculously, an opportunity does

present itself when everyone else wants to take

the boat out on the lake and do some wakeboarding.

The couple stays back. sneaks off into a tent,

and then gets rudely interrupted by an entitled

brat with her daddy's hunting rifle. Did they

even make it past foreplay? Going into the afterlife

with blue balls sounds hella tragic. I'm Brandon

O, this is Terrorific, and we're chopping up

2023's VHS 85. Welcome back to the place where

Welcome & Intro

it's perpetually spooky season. Big news recently

with this year's Oscar nominations being announced

and a horror film shockingly becomes the most

nominated film of all time. I'm talking about

Sinners, of course, with its 16 nominations received.

Also recognized were Weapons, Frankenstein, The

Ugly Stepsister, and Begonia. So the golden age

of horror continues. I don't think I ever posted

my top 2025 horror films on social media or anything,

but Sinners was not my favorite. I wasn't one

of the ones who thought it was the most incredible

film ever. I thought it was a great movie, but

I think its strengths lied outside of the horror

genre. It wasn't really a great horror movie

in my opinion. The vampire aspect really took

a backseat to the cultural aspect of it, and

that's fine. You know, I definitely think it

deserves to be nominated for the things it was

nominated for, but I just wasn't really feeling

it from a horror perspective. So my number one

movie of last year was Bring Her Back. Number

two, I had The Monkey. Number three, I had The

Ugly Stepsister. Number four, Weapons. Number

five, Sinners. And honorable mention was Clown

in a Cornfield. So I do want to rewatch Sinners

at some point later on. I'm trying to give it

some time to breathe to see if I... can gain

a newfound appreciation for it but from a horror

perspective again it just wasn't really doing

it for me and call me a cynic but i have very

low expectations for sinners when it comes to

how many awards it's actually going to win 16

nominations is great it's incredible the most

of all time literally however there's like this

feeling that this just seems like lip service

Not only because it's a horror film and after

last year's, you know, noise about the substance

being robbed and Demi Moore being robbed, I think

people were really clamoring for horror films

to be taken more seriously. And here comes Sinners,

which, you know, is a cultural like mover and

it's a ripe opportunity to kind of, you know,

appease people, if you will. But not only is

it a horror film, but it's also a black film.

And, you know, that also is working against it.

Black films, I don't think, are traditionally

recognized as being great films by these people

during award seasons, which, you know, we don't

really need to dive into those reasons there.

But, you know, I think you can kind of pick up

what I'm putting down, because even when these

black films and black filmmakers win the big

awards, the best pictures, the best directors,

whatever it may be. it's a certain type of film

that is winning these awards like Moonlight won

best picture in 2017 and it mainly depicted black

people in a state of poverty and selling drugs

things that are stereotypically associated with

black people and then 12 Years a Slave won best

picture in 2014 also becoming the first film

to win best picture that had a black director

and it depicted people as slaves so you know

with senators depicting black people from a position

of power you know fighting back against the establishment

you know of these these white invaders of their

space i just have trouble believing that it's

going to walk away with any of the major hardware

but i hope i'm wrong we'll see But now let's

Leaderboard Recap & Segment Overview

get to the reason why you're really here. We

have gone through five films in the VHS franchise

so far, 25 segments in total, ranking all of

them on four criteria, story quality, special

effects quality, situational fear, and likelihood

of death. Averaging those four ratings together

to come up with one overall score and ranking

the best segments in the entire franchise. But

having it best means there must also be a worse.

So our bottom three as they currently stand.

We have Tape 56 from VHS with an overall score

of 2 .38. Then we have Slumber Party Alien Abduction

from VHS 2 with an overall score of 2 .13. And

at the bottom we have Vicious Circles from VHS

Viral with a score of 2 .0. I should have these

scores memorized by now. I mean they've been

at the bottom for... what, like three films now?

But I still have to pull up my spreadsheet to

rattle off those numbers. Our current top five

consists of number five, Ozzy's Dungeon from

VHS 99 with a score of 4 .13. At number four,

Amateur Night from VHS, also with a score of

4 .13, but it has the tiebreaker advantage on

special effects quality over Ozzy's Dungeon.

At number three, we have The Sick Thing That

Happened to Emily When She Was Younger from VHS

with a score of 4 .25. At number two, Safe Haven

from VHS2 with a score of 4 .75. And at number

one, our top dog, The Subject from VHS94 with

a score of 4 .88. VHS85 has five new segments,

so let's see if that shakes up our leaderboard.

Segment 1: TKNOGD

So kicking us off at number five, we have...

Techno God. Techno God was directed by Natasha

Kermani and written by Zoe Cooper, and they came

up with the story together as well. Kermani's

filmography includes 2020's Lucky and 2025's

Abraham's Boys. Cooper was also a staff writer

on Peacock's now -canceled horror show Teacup,

as well as co -writing my top -ranked segment

from VHS99, Ozzy's Dungeon. Techno God's story

centers on a performance artist named Ada Lovelace

who was in a small theater putting on her one

-woman show. Now the real Ada Lovelace was a

19th century British mathematician primarily

known for her work on the analytical engine,

which was a proposed mechanical computer designed

by fellow British mathematician Charles Babbage.

Lovelace is credited with being first to recognize

the machine's potential beyond just calculations

and as a result is often considered the world's

first computer programmer. Ada kicks off her

show by asking the audience who here believes

in God. And she goes on to say that we have killed

God and created a new one in his place, the God

of technology. She then plays a video on the

stage of a guy talking about some hot new tech

that he's created. Starting with the Techno Gloves,

which are a set of gloves that let one touch

or interact with something in the digital world,

essentially allowing someone to exist in two

planes at once. And these Techno Gloves pair

with another accessory called iPhones, which

are a visor that allows one to see into the digital

world. iPhones as in E -Y -E, but real subtle

with that name. And this dude, who may or may

not be Steve Jobs, also believes that the future

lies in wearing robotic clothing and transporting

oneself to the digital reality. And he's probably

not wrong. So Ada puts on a suit with techno

gloves and iPhones, and she also has a screen

on stage that allows the audience to see the

digital world that she is also seeing. She begins

making vocalizations and incantations to summon

the tech god and she goads it with doubts of

its existence, calls it a myth. She is challenging

it to awaken and show itself. And she promptly

fucks around and finds out because the tech god

shows up in the digital realm and is displeased.

understandably so because who the fuck is this

random person coming in here talking all this

cash shit but to her credit ada quickly realizes

that something here is off because the techno

god does not have a humanoid appearance i think

that she assumed and i know i definitely assume

that it would look humanoid because if god supposedly

created us in his image if we were to create

a god of technology One would think that we would

also create this god in our image. But no, the

techno god is monstrous looking, alien looking,

and looks very upset. So Ada tries to remove

the iPhones, but the visor won't come free. The

techno god snatches up digital Ava and causes

her to levitate in the real world as a result.

And it absolutely begins to mop her up. It's

like flinging her around the room. Starts breaking

bones, like snaps her leg, claws her leg up,

which causes her leg to be skinned in the real

world and tears off the other leg. At one point,

Ada takes her glove off, the techno glove, and

her hand is just not there. It's like she's began

to fuse with this digital world. And eventually

she succumbs to her injuries because, again,

she had a leg completely torn off. You know,

just spraying blood into the crowd. But they

all think it's part of the show. So once she

dies, they give her light applause. And the segment

ends. So let's go to the ratings. For the story,

I gave Technogod a rating of a 3. It was interesting.

Very interesting concept. I wish it would have

just gone a little bit deeper. Because it does

raise some interesting philosophical questions

or discussion points. Technology is something

that human beings have become overly reliant

on. Techno God might be a little bit too nice

of a descriptor. I think it's more of like a

techno overseer or owner because we are definitely

slaves to technology. The shift in so many like

societal norms and behaviors and attitudes that

has arisen with. you know in conjunction with

social media and other forms of technology has

just been absolutely insane like beauty standards

have been warped the way that we get our news

and our information misinformation is so easy

to spread and disseminate now it's like technology

for all the good it does you know connecting

all of us you know advances in medicine transportation

education whatever it may be All those things

have been great, yes, but the dark side of that

is that despite having access to this information

superhighway, I feel like people are dumber than

we've ever been, and it starts so young. Like,

I was at a bar last week watching the Bears and

Rams game, and there was this kid who couldn't

have been older than, like, eight. And, I mean,

we were there for, like... three hours or whatever

it was right and the entire time he just has

an ipad and headphones on while his parents are

watching the game and i'm not judging you know

anyone's parenting style parenting is hard you

get it done however you can but we also can acknowledge

the negative impacts of technology on such a

young person's brain and like my dad is a math

teacher and he's told me about how Things have

shifted in the classrooms where you used to teach

actual arithmetic, teach actual calculations

and, you know, mental math. But now it's more

about teaching kids how to use the calculator

to have them solve the problems for them. It's

like we are fucked. We are fucked again. Like,

call me, call me cynical. but we are fucked like

technology of course has its uses and i'm not

saying that we should do without it no one wants

to go back to the stone age but i wish there

was a little bit more balance involved or a little

bit more emphasis on you know preserving some

of the old ways as well as you know understanding

and realizing that technology is beneficial to

us today but i digress uh yeah if if techno god

had gone in you know a little bit more depth

especially with that first question like you

know who here believes in god like i was expecting

you know to use my brain a little bit more but

yeah it just kind of quickly went into just dismemberment

but hey maybe maybe that's the point you know

maybe that's a commentary on how We aren't using

our brains as much because we're so reliant on

technology. So if that's the case, then a message

received and respect. But still, I would have

wanted to kind of think about this or have this,

you know, discuss a little bit more deeply. For

special effects, I gave Techno God a four. Whenever

Ada tried to remove the Techno Glove in her hand,

no longer existed in the real world. That was

a pretty cool. visual there and they relied on

practical effects for the most part so you know

she's levitating and when she's getting picked

up by the techno god um and when her leg gets

like skinned and shit it's all just exposed meat

um that looked pretty gnarly and the leg being

torn off and finally um at the end of the segment

the cameraman He goes to check on Ada after she's

died. And when he flips up the visor on her iPhones,

it reveals, like, her exposed eyeballs and brain.

Like, the whole front part of her face is just,

like, gone. I don't know if it's, like, melted

or, you know, like, been transported to the real

world. Like, she's being downloaded. I mean,

the digital world. Like, she's being downloaded

over there or whatever. But, yeah, just seeing

her. exposed eyeballs still kind of twitching

around that looked pretty crazy so yeah pretty

pretty solid special effects situational fear

i went with a three for ada it was probably a

five but the audience all thought it was part

of the performance so they were just chilling

so split the difference and we get that three

And finally, for likelihood of death, I went

with a one because all of this could have been

avoided if Ada wasn't talking all that shit.

Like, there was absolutely no reason to call

out the techno god for being a myth. Like, even

if you don't believe in something or believe

in this god specifically, if there's even an

iota of a possibility that it's real, that you

could actually be transported to this digital

world and experience things in the real life

as they occur to you in that digital world then

why even risk it bro like you could have just

been like hello techno god are you here like

approach in a more polite manner or whatever

but just to come in and basically kick the fucking

door down and be like hey yo bitch fake bitch

where you at I mean, you can't really be surprised

when you get fucked up. So yeah. Not to mention

the fact that during her performance, when she's

setting this all up, she mentions that if humans

were to create a God, then that God would be

young and childlike. She says that. What do children

do? They throw tantrums. So if you are calling

a childlike, powerful entity, a myth and talking

mad shit it's probably likely it's gonna throw

a tantrum and fuck you up that death was totally

avoidable so yeah one which brings the overall

score for techno god to a 2 .75 at number four

Segment 2: Total Copy

we have total copy which is the frame narrative

for vhs 85 we're back to that structure total

copy is shot as like a documentary And it's been

taped over in certain parts. And those certain

parts that have been taped over are the other

segments in the film. But Total Copy was directed

by David Bruckner and written by Evan Dixon.

And they also came up with the story together.

Bruckner returns to the VHS franchise after about

a decade. He was the director of Amateur Night

from the very first VHS film. Total Copy centers

on a team of scientists, Dr. Pike Spratling,

Dr. Gary Newell, Dr. Margaret Porter, and Dr.

Sarah Grayson, who are at a university studying

an alien that they've named Rory. And they discovered

Rory at the top of a butte. A butte is an isolated

hill with steep, often vertical sides and a small,

relatively flat top typically found in arid or

desert regions, particularly in the southwestern

U .S. and Mexico. and they are formed through

the erosion of plateaus and mesas. The scientists

stick Rory in a room with a television playing

exercise videos, and again, I'm not here to judge

anybody's parenting style, but this is how they

decide to introduce it to humanity, and they

discover that it can shapeshift. Rory then shapeshifts

into a form that kind of resembles Gary, and

at that point, Dr. Grayson calls an emergency

meeting to address why this is problematic, despite

Spratling's exuberance. And the other team members

say Rory mimics what it sees. Duh. And Grayson

is like, okay, that's cool, but Gary has never

entered its chamber. So mimicking Gary means

that it's been able to see through the one way

mirror this whole time and has been the one doing

the observation. But Dr. Spratling thinks that

it's a quote unquote miracle and serves as proof

of Rory's desire to communicate. OK, Dr. Dumbass,

this fucking guy. Dr. Spratling thinks Rory is

sick because apparently. Whatever his degree

is in makes him qualify to diagnose alien illness.

He's an expert in alien biology. And so literally

everyone else thinks and tells him that he's

being manipulated, but he doesn't buy it. At

this point, Dr. Grayson is like, fuck all this

shit. And she leaves the study and encourages

folks to come with her. But no one else. does

so congratulations to dr grayson for being the

smart doctor while the other dumb doctors stay

behind with king dumb doctor to uh see what unfolds

with rory so they end up sending gary into rory's

chamber to inject it with adrenaline to see if

that helps with this phantom sickness and once

gary's in there which why like if i'm gary I'm

being like, yo, Dr. Spratling, if you're the

one who thinks that this motherfucker is sick,

why don't you go give him the medicine since

you want to play Dr. Daddy? Like you take care

of that shit. But I guess Gary is more of a team

player than I am. But he goes in there and Rory

releases like a horn tentacle, which they call

a feeler. And this thing wraps around Gary's

arm very tightly. and gary is not very comfortable

with this he's trying not to freak out because

it doesn't hurt yet but it is incredibly tight

and the rest of the doctors again people who

are supposed to be very smart they break containment

which is rule number one of what to never do

but they break containment go into the chamber

to try to save gary and as they do so another

feeler is then wrapped around his leg so tightly

that Blood starts squirting and spurting from

it. And eventually they accept and realize that

they can't free Gary. And Spratling literally

says, fuck it, let him go. Like, bruh, you're

the one who did all this shit. And now you just

want to say, fuck it. That is absolutely unhinged

behavior. And Gary gets dragged back into the

chamber and we hear bones cracking and R .I .P.

Gary. Being named Gary in a VHS segment never

ends well. And as they see Gary get compacted,

they decide to run away. But these dummies leave

the door to the chamber open as they do so. So

once they reach the handprint reader at the exit,

it won't scan Spratling's hand because it's covered

in Gary's blood. So Rory comes up and throws

those tentacles out, stabs folks. jabs folks

and kills everybody and then eventually drags

all their corpses back into its chamber where

it has them reenacting the workout videos that

they that's going on on screen so all these corpses

are doing uh hip thrusts as this segment ends

and i guess if we're being real i mean Sprouting's

hypothesis, I guess, turned out to technically

be correct. I mean, he thought that Rory was

observing humanity's behaviors, and it was. I

mean, its entire view of what humanity does or

is was just limited to these workout videos.

So, as it sees these other humans behind their

one -way mirror, And it's fine. I guess it thought

that, hey, y 'all should be doing workout videos

too. So if you're not going to, I will assist

you with that. And yeah, unfortunately, maybe

Spratling should have added a little bit more

nuance into the equation. So let's go to the

rating. Story -wise, I gave Total Copy a 3. This

was probably the most cohesive frame narrative

thus far in the VHS franchise. And it was interesting.

You know, nothing really too original about it.

It seemed inspired, at least in part, by The

Thing. Instead of finding an alien life form

in Antarctica, they found it in the desert. But

still, there's tentacles involved and shapeshifting,

etc. But yeah, I feel like in most of the other

frame narratives, there were awkward time skips

when the story would jump forward. And this one

had... like you could tell it was moving forward

but it still seemed to stay like relatively like

well paced so i appreciated that uh special effects

i gave total copy of three the the tentacles

were like practically done which was cool but

i wanted to see a little bit more like action

or see the tentacles in action because whenever

rory like stabbed people or whatever And usually

like the impact or the penetration happened like

just outside the camera frame. Like you didn't

really see much more than like blood staining

their clothes or whatever. And as far as the

creature design goes for Rory, outside of the

tentacles, it looked like CGI to me. Like there's

moments when Rory's in the process of like shapeshifting

and kind of taking on the form of Gary or whomever.

And it looks like an imitation of something that's

trying to be wet, where I think if it was like

practically done, you could have really seen

like that wet, gooey, like squelching kind of

factor that it was seemingly trying to give off.

For situational fear, I went with the rating

of four. I just felt like too many warning signs

were being ignored for too long to be worthy

of a five. I think towards the end there, it

definitely ratcheted up that level of fear. But

still, I think in the back of their minds, like

science was still like their main priority, especially

for Spratling, trying to gather data and salvage

the experiment. Once things finally became unsalvageable

in his mind and he tried to escape. Yeah, I'm

sure they were terrified, but it just took too

long to get there to justify a full five. But

personally, if I was confronted by a tentacled

monster, I would definitely be shitting my pants.

There is absolutely no way in hell I would ever

volunteer or agree to walk into its containment

chamber to give it an adrenaline shot to make

it feel better. What the fuck is that? Hell no.

And lastly, for likelihood of death, I went with

a two. Of course, everything could have been

completely avoided if you would have left the

alien where you found it. But I understand the

need or compulsion to pursue this scientific

endeavor. So fine, I'll raise your baseline up

to a two. But even at that point, like breaking

the containment on it. You know what I mean?

Like not closing the door after you realize that

it's trying to murder people and being unable

to like get your hand clean in order to have

the handprint scanner read it to get up out of

there. Like fumble after fumble after fumble.

Most of that shit could have been avoided. So

that brings the overall score for total copy

to a 3 .0. But before we break down the top three

segments of VHS 85, I humbly request that if

you have not yet done so, please subscribe and

or follow the show on your platform of choice,

as well as leave a rating. Preferably or ideally

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with seo and all that good shit so thank you

all right so the third best segment in vhs 85

Segment 3: God of Death

by my estimation is god of death god of death

was written and directed by gg saul guerrero

whose filmography also includes 2021's bingo

hell as well as culture shock an episode from

blumhouse's 2019 tv series into the dark And

shout out to my homies over at Horror 365 because

they recently sat down for a live interview with

Gigi over on their YouTube channel. So go ahead

and check that out. They do interviews with a

variety of individuals in the horror community.

They do live streams, movie reviews, topic discussions,

and more. They celebrate 360 degrees of horror

365 days a year because horror is not just a

genre, it's a lifestyle. Their YouTube handle

is at Horror365Alive, and you can also find them

on all the socials, and those handles are at

HorrorHeads365. But God of Death takes place

in Mexico, opening up with a news crew getting

ready for the morning show, and the main studio

anchor named Lucia is a savage because she just

starts roasting the evening crew. Apparently

their main anchor... has some stink ass breath

because the microphone didn't smell the best

and honestly like bad breath is one of those

things that is just like so irritating because

it's so preventable but it boggles my mind how

many people are unaware of how badly their breath

smells at times like i had a homie in high school

right he was like one of my good friends and

his breath every fucking day Just smelled like

shit, bro. And I tried to power through because

I didn't want to be an asshole. But it reached

a point where I was being an asshole by not saying

anything. So I was like, dog, I got to be upfront

with you, bro. Like your shit stinks, dog. He's

like, what? What are you talking about? I'm like,

you can't taste that shit. It's in your mouth.

Every single time you say something, you don't

you don't taste that. That that sardine flavor

in there. You know what I mean? Like week old

sardines, bro. Like, come on, dog. And so I had

to start giving him like Listerine breast strips

because I just could not take it. But as Lucia

and field reporter Gabriella get ready to go

on air, disaster strikes and the story becomes

a fictional depiction of the very real earthquake

that struck Mexico City on September 19th, 1985.

And I've mentioned in previous episodes that

I enjoy having my expectations subverted, and

that happens here, because Lucia was definitely

giving off main character energy, but as the

earthquake hits, it causes the part of the ceiling

from the studio to collapse, falling on Lucia,

killing her. Pretty awkward. But our real main

character, Cameraman Luis, survives and gets

saved by a rescue crew consisting of four people,

Carla, Eddie, Miguel, and Javier. And they've

got a tall task ahead of them because they're

trying to get out of this building before it

completely collapses. But they're up on one of

the higher floors. And as they're trying to escape,

Javier ends up being impaled by rebar after another

series of tremors or I guess aftershocks causes

the building to collapse even more. And bro,

what happens next is an example of like super

feminism. Like I consider myself to be a feminist,

but had I been in this situation. I probably

would have like raised a question. So I guess

I still have some some room to grow because of

all the people in the group, they nominate Carla

to take a crowbar to Javier's dome to end his

pain and suffering. And she's like in shambles

as she does this. Like, I don't know why someone

else didn't step up and be like, all right, this

is clearly very difficult for you. Like, why

are we just going to sit here and watch you do

it? Like someone else take that on. But hey,

equality to the max i respect it and like i said

i guess i still have room to grow because technically

there's no reason why carla couldn't do it but

i don't know it just it just seemed like a lot

of toll was being taken on her that maybe someone

else could have like chipped in like maybe she

does like one whack and then they just like pass

it around like everyone gets like one whack At

the Javier pinata. You know what I mean. But

the survivors soldier on. Eventually come into

like a crawl space. And once they go through

that. They end up in this room. This ominous

looking room. And they hear even more ominous.

And strange screeching. Screeching. And these

motherfuckers are like. Oh shit we hear someone.

Let's go check it out. Bro what kind of person

screeches. But Luis is the only one who's like,

nah, fuck that. I'm not going there. But everyone

else wants to go. And obviously, he's not going

to stay by himself in the middle of this collapsing

building. So he reluctantly follows along. And

as they venture through the area, they walk through

some mysterious billowing fog. So we have screeching

and billowing fog, yet they still trudge on.

But they end up in a room with like skulls on

the walls and ancient Aztec sculptures. And someone

recognizes one of the walls and calls it the

Wall of Mictlan. In Aztec mythology, Mictlan

is the underworld. And Mictlan Tukutli is the

king of this underworld and the most prominent

of several gods and goddesses of death. The worship

of Mclon to Cootley sometimes involved ritualistic

cannibalism, so that gives you a little bit of

an idea of where the story is about to go. The

gang sees Eddie standing abnormally still in

front of the wall of Mclon with his back to the

camera. And they're like, yo. what the fuck are

you doing bro and obviously of course he is now

possessed so he turns around and starts spouting

some shit about their god rising from the underworld

and how he'll feed and collect he then takes

a crowbar to his own belly and pulls out his

guts and then he swings the crowbar and gashes

Miguel in the neck in turn killing him At this

point, McLontocootley rises behind Eddie, who

then hands over his heart and McLontocootley

eats it. Carla and Luis are like, you know what?

Fuck all this. Let's get out of here. And they

make a run for it. But Luis gets caught up and

like stunned by McLontocootley. And when he comes

to, he notices that Eddie and Miguel's bodies

are now gone, presumably carried off to the underworld,

and Carla is nowhere to be found either. And

as he looks around, he eventually turns around,

and boom, there's Carla, who then stabs him with

her crowbar and removes Luis's heart. She then

strips and presents that heart to Miquelante

Cootley as an offering. And she yells for him

to rise, and as she does so, the building collapses

even more, which in turn kills her. So, question

being, was her mind influenced by Miklan Takutli,

or was she secretly a priestess this whole time?

I lean towards the latter, because Carla was

kind of the group's leader. Like, they seemed

to be following her direction most of the time.

And so ending up in this crawlspace in this chamber,

which happened to be like ground zero for the

rising of the king of the underworld, seems awfully

convenient to me. I mean, I guess you can make

the assumption that, you know, McClanty Cooley

was guiding them without their knowledge. But

whenever Eddie got possessed, like he clearly

like looked possessed. He looked differently.

He sounded differently. But with Carla, she just

seemed like regular -ass Carla. If not, you know,

I mean, she stopped crying after bashing old

dude's brains in. That's really the only difference.

But that would take some meticulous planning.

Like, if you grew up in, you know, a family that

worships Miklantikuli or, you know, the other

Aztec gods, and you're being prepped for his

eventual return, and they're like, hey, you know,

when he pops up, It's going to be this big ass

earthquake. So you got to be trained to be like

on the rescue crew and shit. So you got to learn

to save all these lives, learn how to navigate

falling buildings and falling debris, somehow

survive long enough or hope you survive long

enough through this earthquake to be able to

actually make it to where your God is. And then

once there. have someone still alive to cut their

heart out and present it as an offering like

that's a lot of dominoes that had to fall perfectly

in place but hey i guess that's the power of

faith right but then the footage cuts to gabriella

on the broadcast you know recounting everything

with the earthquake and the segment ends so let's

go to the ratings for story i gave god of death

a two On the positive side, it exposed me to

new cultural, you know, beliefs and whatnot,

which is cool. But I just wanted more, dog. Like,

it ended almost, like, kind of abruptly. Like,

what happened after, like, Mclanticootie, like,

raised up? Is he taking over the surface? Is

he bringing, like, an army of undead with him?

Like, what happens from that point forward? I

feel like there was a lot of potential here.

I liked what I saw, just wanted to see more.

That's it. For special effects, I went with the

grade of 4. There were some highlights here,

like the rebar sticking out of Javier's chest,

Eddie's guts on his crowbar once he disemboweled

himself, and the heart eating by McLintock Hootley.

These visuals were all executed using practical

effects, and I thought they were well done. The

one note I'll add is I think things could have

been elevated a little bit. If we had seen something

like, you know, like a glimpse of the underworld

itself or seen more of the impact of like the

rubble in the ceiling falling on Lucia or somebody

else, that little extra touch to add a little

bit more visceral value. For situational fear,

I went with a rating of four. I mean, being in

a massive earthquake as the building that you're

in collapses and then stumbling upon the Aztec

god of death is definitely a terrifying scenario.

However, I have to account for the fact that

one, Carla, Luis, Miguel and Eddie were trained

professionals who have spent considerable time.

preparing for situations like this. And I think

people who take those jobs, their fear centers

operate a little bit differently than the general

population. And then on top of that, assuming

that Carla was a priestess who believed or worshipped

Miklanta Kutli, I also think that the fear aspect

with her being confronted with him would have

been lower compared to regular people as well

so yeah and finally for likelihood of death i

also went with a four times were tough but they

did survive the initial tremor they did survive

or most of them survived like the aftershocks

and so What really sealed their fate was continuing

through the crawlspace into the room and the

billowing fog and following the screeching. So

had they not gone down that path, there was still

a chance for survival, albeit probably slim.

So that brings the overall score for God of Death

to a 3 .5. coming in at the number two spot for

Segment 4: Dream Kill

best segments in vhs 85 and i can understand

if you or someone else wanted to put this as

their number one because it is a strong segment

but we have dream kill dream kill was directed

by scott derrickson who also co -wrote it along

with c robert cargill Now, the two have teamed

up as director and co -writer on multiple major

projects, such as 2012's Sinister, which some

studies allege is scientifically the scariest

movie ever made based on heart rate elevation.

And they also worked together on 2016's Doctor

Strange. And most importantly, especially as

far as this segment is concerned, 2021's The

Black Phone. I also want to point out that Scott

Derrickson directed 2005's The Exorcism of Emily

Rose, which would have been very good information

to know a few weeks ago when I was competing

in a horror trivia competition on the Cinematic

Nightmares YouTube channel hosted by Mika G.

And one of my questions was, who directed The

Exorcism of Emily Rose? And I had no idea. Had

I gotten that question right? I would have won,

but instead I tied for like third and I lost

by half a point, which is some bullshit. I'm

a very competitive person. Uh, so, uh, yeah,

this, uh, this episode here, VHS 85 and this

segment came like a week too late, which sucks,

but it's all right. One of these days I'm going

to get that dub anyway. Dream Kill takes place

in the summer of 85 in Aurora, Colorado and it

comes out the gates hot. It starts with the POV

of someone breaking into a home while audio plays

of a woman named Karen making a 911 call about

the break -in. And this video stylistically looks

very similar to Sinister which was my first thought

watching it and then come to find out hey the

guy who made Sinister made this short too so.

Makes sense. But Karen is hiding under the bed

and basically narrates her impending death, which

is very chilling. And the killer finds her because

hiding under a bed is probably the first place

most people would look for someone. And he takes

an electric carving knife and just goes to town.

The segment then jumps to a cop named Wayne and

a forensic videographer named Bobby investigating

a murder scene. Bobby was played by actor James

Ranson, who died by suicide this past December,

so if you or anyone you know is struggling with

thoughts of suicide or self -harm, please call

or text 988 ASAP to speak with someone. You are

not alone. But Wayne comments that the house

looks just like the one on a video he received

at the station recently. And it turns out that's

because they're identical. Karen is the murder

victim at the scene they're investigating, but

she's only been dead a few hours, despite the

tape being received a week ago. The cops end

up discovering that the tape was mailed from

a public mailbox, so Wayne decides to set up

a surveillance camera nearby in hopes that the

person or persons who mailed it will return.

But first, we get a view of the next video. So,

the killer breaks into someone's home, this time

using a key. Hmm. And once inside, he scuffles

with the man who lives there. And the victim

tries to beat the killer with a golf club, but

the killer gains the upper hand and cuts the

fingers off his right hand. And then dude just

gets carved up. Real nasty work. But police receive

this tape three days before the murder. In reviewing

the hidden camera footage by the public mailbox,

they get a glimpse of a person of interest. So

they set an officer out there to stake it out.

And eventually the person of interest returns

with a third tape. And that is when he is apprehended.

And this person ends up being an emo kid named

Gunther. Gunther. That is an interesting name,

especially for an emo kid. But hey, maybe that's

why he's emo. I would also be feeling some kind

of way if my parents decided to name me. Gunther.

And we don't have to look far to find his parent

because his daddy is Bobby. So Bobby and Wayne

are interrogating Gunther at the police station

and Gunther explains that he wanted a beta video

camera but his dad was cheap and went VHS. So

Gunther would record movies and shit on the camera

and other images would begin to show up eventually.

After this happened enough times he began to

recognize these images from his dreams. The camera

would be recording his dreams but Wayne is skeptical.

That's when Bobby pulls him off to another room

and tells him that Gunther is legit. He actually

is a seer and it runs in the family. Bobby's

sister had this same gift but it drove her crazy

to the point that she died by suicide and her

daughter Gunther's cousin, Gwen, also has it.

And that is when we realize that Dreamkill exists

in the Black Phone universe. Gwen is the little

girl who dreams of the Grapper's abductions,

including that of her older brother, Finney,

the film's protagonist. But now that the cops

have Gunther's third tape in hand, they ask him

what's on it, and he just tells them to watch

it. So they do. And it shows the aftermath and

the audio of a woman being dismembered by a power

saw. The house number is visible in the video

as the killer enters, so Wayne is able to deduce

the street's location based on its proximity

to the town's water tower. When they pull up

to the house, Wayne confronts Bobby in the car.

He lays out all this evidence about how the first

victim and the third future victim have an active

lawsuit against Bobby and the second victim was

their attorney. Bobby had lied to Wayne about

voluntarily giving up his police badge to become

a forensic videographer. In reality, he was forced

to resign after the two women accused him of

stalking and sexual assault. Well, Bobby, now

feeling cornered, is like, you know what? Fuck

this Wayne and shoots him in the head. And R

.I .P. Wayne. Look, if you're going to be confronting

somebody who you think is a vicious killer, you've

seen how he operates. You've seen the aftermath

of his work. Why would you do so in such close

confines and also without backup? why did you

pull up to the house to show him this evidence

if you had it beforehand confront him in the

police station bro where you he could just arrest

him and put him in the jail cell and have other

cops there with you in case shit goes awry but

for some reason this motherfucker wanted to drive

to the scene of a future crime and be like hey

i know what you've been doing buddy what the

fuck did you think was gonna happen here wayne

that is Crazy. Not to mention the fact that as

a detective on the police force, you had no idea

that Bobby had these charges levied against him

to begin with. Like, did he just recently transfer

in? I guess that's a possibility. But even then,

like, you would still think that he'd have, like,

access to, like, the history or the background

checks of his fellow co -workers. But whatever.

Bobby exits the car as Wayne's brains slide down

the window and he goes into the house to kill

the woman with the power saw. Meanwhile, back

at the police station, Gunther had dozed off

in the interrogation room and he awakens from

a dream so he knows what's about to happen next.

His dad comes into the room bloody as fuck ready

to kill him. As the dream plays out on the camera

in the room at the same time. So Gunther's like,

I'm not going to die here. I know everything

that's about to happen. Which is a very confident

and dare I say cocky thing to say. Because the

one thing about the future is that it can always

change, right? So just because you had a dream

about things going one way. Doesn't mean that

Daddy Bobby can't call an audible and do some

other shit. But hey, maybe I'm just paranoid

because things work out perfectly for Gunther

because the jig is up. Bobby gets confronted

by other cops and he just starts going absolutely

ham on these people, bro. Like he drops like

five cops. Dude looks like John Wick out here.

It's actually kind of concerning that the police

got dropped like this. Because they're supposed

to be protecting the community and one fucking

guy is just decimating them like nothing. But

anyway, after Bobby's rampage concludes, he had

forgotten about Gunther. So Gunther sneaks up

behind him and shoots him in the back of the

head. End of segment. So let's go to the ratings.

For story, I gave Dream Kill a 4. I think it

was dope that it's set in the same universe as

The Black Phone. I did not realize that the first

time I watched it. I might have watched this

before I watched The Black Phone, so none of

that shit meant anything to me whatsoever. I

was like, who the fuck is Gwen? Okay, cool. But

now that I know, you know, hindsight 2020, I

was like, oh shit, like that is... pretty cool

i think more filmmakers should think about that

like for future vhs or other anthology you know

films like to kind of loop in your major works

into these shorts i think that's a pretty dope

idea so shout out scott derrickson for doing

that and see robert cargill But the flip side

of that coin is that pulling from your other

works too much can make this current story feel

a little bit derivative. Like the Sinister vibes,

it wasn't just like a nod to Sinister. It was

basically like copy and paste Sinister with like

that Super 8 kind of feel or whatever. And even

like the music or the score sounded pretty familiar

and similar to Sinister. But the story was still

engaging. And I always like those kind of time

displacement type of films, time travel as well.

Like the concept of time is such an interesting

thing to me. It really doesn't make sense how

time operates. No two people experience time

the same way. And even within the same person,

like the way that you experience time changes

as you get older or depending on your mood or

whatever it may be, you know, different life

situations and scenarios like time just ebbs

and flows to a point where it's like, how do

you even track this shit? And then also it's

like. how are we even sure what time it currently

is like anytime you get a new phone the time

is automatically ready for you and shit it's

like who determined what that starting point

was and how do we know that there hasn't been

any slippage or acceleration since then you're

telling me that the sun You know, tracking the

sun's positioning in the sky can tell you exactly

what time it is at every minute, every second

of every day for years and years and years. That

seems suspect to me. I don't want to get too

tinfoil here, but. Yeah, that doesn't really

add up. For special effects, I gave Dream Kill

a five out of five. So some highlights include

that when Karen was being murdered, not only

was she carved up by this, you know, electric

carving knife. She also took a straight razor

to the eyeball. And while this occurs, her eyeball

like pops and oozes. And this is all done with

practical effects. Absolutely insane. Whenever

the lawyer got his fingers cut off, more practical

effects. And then the power saw woman, she was

just like a mangled mess of all kinds of body

parts and blood and viscera. I already mentioned

how Wayne's brains were splattered on the window

and they were also like on his shoulder and shit.

And then Bobby Wick, when he was going crazy

in the police station, taking out all these cops,

there were dudes missing limbs and all this splatter

and all this shit. And it was practical effects.

So definitely, easily five out of five on that

front. For situational fear, I gave Dream Kill

a 4. At the far right end of the spectrum, like

super duper afraid, you gotta go with Bobby's

victims, right? All of them, the two women and

the attorney, I'm sure that they were absolutely

shit your pants terrified. Especially Karen,

essentially narrating her own death. That is

insane. But that... is counterbalanced to a certain

extent by Gunther being cocky as fuck thinking

hey I know everything that's gonna happen so

he wasn't really afraid Wayne I don't think was

really afraid he thought he had the upper hand

didn't seem like he expected Bobby to shoot him

in the face uh but yeah that did happen and then

Bobby himself I mean just going straight Terminator

mode on everybody he didn't seem very afraid

he just seemed determined um so Four, you know,

we'll kind of lean towards the extreme end of

the fear that the victims experience, but that

is brought down a little bit by everybody else

being relatively chill. And finally, for likelihood

of death, I went with this score of a three because

Karen was the only one who was really fucked

in this entire situation. Like she had no chance

to survive unless she didn't hide under the bed,

I guess. And jumped out the window or whatever

it is. But that might be asking a lot for anybody

who's in that kind of petrifying situation. But

Wayne, I think, is the one that really could

have tilted the odds for so many people. Because

if he didn't drive Bobby to the third victim's

house, she would have been okay. More than likely,

because if he knew that Bobby was the killer

and confronted him somewhere else, like in a

jail cell, then that woman would have survived.

All the cops would have survived. And Bobby himself

may have survived unless he got the death penalty

later. So Wayne is indirectly responsible for

the deaths of like seven people. Way to go, Wayne.

And then the attorney, I mean, this dude, he

had the drop on Bobby. He just couldn't finish

the job with his golf club and he got disarmed

and then disfingered. So if you could have squabbled

a little bit better there, buddy, you also could

have survived. So most people had a chance here

other than Karen. But averaging all those scores

together brings Dream Kill up to an overall score

of 4 .0. Very respectable. And last but not least,

Segment 5: No Wake / Ambrosia

coming in at the number one spot for best segment

in VHS 85 is actually two segments. We have a

very special case here where two different segments

told the same story but from two different points

of view. So at number one, we have No Wake slash

Ambrosia. These segments were written and directed

by Mike P. Nelson, whose filmography also includes

the 2021 reboot of Wrong Turn, as well as 2025

Silent Night, Deadly Night remake. So let's break

down No Wake first. The story centers on a group

of seven friends, Rob, Anna, Jared, Drew, Robin,

Kevin, and Kelly, who hop in an RV and take a

trip to a lake. Once they arrive, there are signs

around there that very clearly say no swimming,

but YOLO. Five of them decide to go out on a

boat for some wakeboarding and general shenanigans,

while two of them, Jared and Anna, stay behind

on shore. After a little while, the five on the

boat take a peek at shore and notice that Jared

and Anna are gone. They have slipped away into

their tent for a little hanky -panky. But the

group also notices there's an unknown truck parked

behind their RV, which is a little strange. But

the group continues wakeboarding and Rob is trying

to teach Robin how to wakeboard. How cute. Their

names are so similar. They have a little banter

going on. Things are a little bit flirty. And

you start to root for them because Rob seems

like one of those dudes who... doesn't get a

lot of action one of those underdogs so it's

like come on rob go ahead and close this deal

my boy and so robin gets up on the wakeboard

and she's doing it and everyone's clapping for

her and it's great suddenly she falls over and

is laying motionless in the water and so now

everyone's like uh what the fuck just happened

so they pull her back onto the boat and she appears

to be dead and before they have time to even

gun shards wow that is a new one oh gosh okay

uh gun shots begin to ring out and kelly gets

her face blown off her jaw is literally like

hanging by a thread on her face she takes a bullet

through the back of the head and everyone's like

yo what the fuck someone is sniping from somewhere

on the land and just starts picking them off

one by one so kevin takes a bullet to the head

he's done rob and drew are the last two standing

so they're trying to hide out they take some

shots one of them like loses his fingers they

get blown off another one takes a shot to the

leg so he can't really move around and eventually

bullets start to penetrate the boat and rob gets

his brains blown out And Drew takes a shot to

the chest and everyone is dead. Pretty awkward.

But then things start to get a little bit wacky

because Rob, Drew, Robin and Kelly all suddenly

resurrect. And they're like, yo, what is happening

right now? Mind you, Kelly's face is still. hella

fucked up so Robin is like sitting next to her

holding her jaw up and it is insane but they

take the boat back to shore and they see the

number seven has been drawn in Roman numerals

on their RV in what appears to be blood so now

they're like um okay what happened to Jared and

Anna are they okay Drew goes over to the tent

takes a peek in there and whatever he sees apparently

is not a very pleasant sight because he tells

Rob, who is Anna's brother, don't go in there,

bro. You do not want to see what's in there.

But Rob goes in anyway and sees his sister and

her boyfriend dead. They have been killed off

screen. And he's like, yo, that sucks. And he's

sad and freaking out because nobody understands

what's going on. So at this point, the group

is trying to assess the situation. Kevin is still

dead on the boat. So because of that, they deduce

that anyone who went into the water was able

to be revived and anyone who did not is permanently

dead. So yeah, this lake has some kind of magical

immortality granting properties. Pretty wild

shit. And while they're huddled up. Considering

what to do next, someone realizes that, hey,

they captured that truck, which is no longer

there, on camera, so maybe they also captured

its license plate in the footage. And they want

some revenge. and at this point this segment

ends and let me tell you bro i like this was

the very first segment in the film and when it

ended i was so mad i was like what the fuck bro

like this shit was very interesting and it just

cuts off so abruptly right there with no resolution

like i had my spreadsheet by me and i wrote one

down in the story like man fuck this shit like

i was pissed but patience is a virtue which brings

us to ambrosia This segment opens with some sort

of party being thrown for a teenage girl named

Ruth. It's her family celebrating her for something.

And so she's going around just, you know, filming

everyone getting kind of excerpts from them,

anecdotes and all that shit, well wishes, blah,

blah, blah. And she comes to her cousin James

and the two of them start going around and filming

together. Eventually, they go outside and Ruth's

little cousin runs up on her with a little square

gun and shoots her with it. And she asks where

he got it from. And he says, quote, the lady

in the RV. And he said that shit like creepily

as hell. And so Ruth was like, yo, the fuck?

And when the kid said this, the camera kind of

pans and we see the RV driving off. We see its

tail end and it looks a little bit familiar.

The camera also pans to the driveway where we

see a truck sitting there that also looks pretty

familiar. So at this point, the audience is probably

able to connect the dots that Ambrosia is a continuation

of the No Wake story. But we don't really know

exactly what's happening in this family home.

Ruth and James end up heading inside with James

manning the camera and it's time to get to the

actual celebration part. So this party is for

Ruth stepping into some sort of family tradition

that apparently dates back many, many years.

And the family is the Wrigley family. And Ruth

starts to give a speech. And in this speech,

she says to the seven and folks raise their hands

and show Roman numeral seven tats on all their

wrists. It's the same one, the same design that

was on the RV in no wake. Ruth continues with

her speech and she praises her grandpa's prowess

with a sickle and her aunt's classic arsenic

brownies. turns out this ritual is to kill seven

people and it was ruth's turn so she pops in

a videotape and it's of her finding the rv friends

following them and eventually killing them and

sniping them so she uses her dad's hunting rifle

to kill anna and jared in the tent first which

bro talk about a cock block like that is so fucking

rude bro like they have no other opportunity

to be alone on this trip more than likely and

here you are just rolling up killing them at

random because your mommy and daddy said so i

bet and as the tape continues with ruth sniping

the five on the boat police show up outside the

house and interrupt this watch party And the

family's like, okay, this is what we prepared

for. We knew this day would come at some point.

And they're ready to make their last stand. They

are absolutely strapped, bro. You know that scene

in the Matrix when Neo and Trinity are getting

ready to go rescue Morpheus and got the iconic

line, guns, lots of guns. That's what I thought

of immediately when these people were loading

up. Like, that's the extent to which they were

strapped. But the assumption is that the RV friends

tipped off the police here, which we can get

into how they found the house to begin with a

little bit later. But anyway, Ruth's mom gives

her a final piece of advice. She says to fight

and then take her own life. Do not let the police

take her alive and disgrace the family name.

So no pressure. You just got to kill a bunch

of people and then also kill yourself. Thanks,

mom. But all the Wrigley's start blasting, bro,

and they're all going out in a blaze of glory.

And so Ruth and James end up in a bedroom and

they're getting ready for the cops to breach

the house and eventually breach the room. And

Ruth tries to pass James a piece. And he's like,

man, I don't really think I got it in me right

now, bro. Like, to be honest, y 'all got it.

James, understandably, doesn't want to die at

like. 19 but ruth keeps trying to pass him a

pistol and telling him to nut up and he's like

no he refused and so she's like all right fine

you want to be like that die then and she shoots

and kills him so the camera falls to the ground

and we see ruth kind of post up against the bed

like ready for the cops to bust in the room and

they do and she has her last stand pops off a

few rounds but then she gets absolutely lit up

and dies Then as the police are assessing the

fallout, commenting on the fact that Ruth can't

be any older than like 15 or 16, the medical

examiner is, you know, checking her out. And

much to her surprise, as well as Ruth's, Ruth

resurrects and she grabs her pistol and pops

off at the medical examiner. R .I .P. Wrong place,

wrong time. That sucks. But she's hella confused

and the cops are shook so they shoot at her again

so she dies again. But then she resurrects yet

again. And now everyone is like, bro, what the

fuck is going on? And so eventually they just

apprehend her instead of trying to shoot her

again. And she gets hauled off to presumably

spend the rest of her life behind bars or whatever.

But ultimately, she did the one thing that her

mother asked her not to do, which was disgrace

the family name. Sucks to suck. That's what you

get for cock blocking. Not only Jared and Anna,

but also Rob and Robin had a budding little romance

going and you wanted to snipe them too. So fuck

you, Ruth. Enjoy prison for literally forever.

Like, bro, can you imagine having to live in

prison for eternity? That would be insane, but

she deserves it. Okay. Hating on my people. I

love love. All right. My logo is a heart for

a reason, whether that's love of horror movies

or romantic love. I mean, I've been married for

almost 10 years. I like to see people find their

person. And so to see someone else come in between

that for some selfish ass reasons, I always root

against that person. So yeah, kick rocks, Ruth.

But also, I guess if we're being real here, Ruth

wouldn't spend eternity in prison. The government

would eventually break her out and have her do

some black ops shit. You know, send her to do

the impossible tasks because she has unlimited

opportunities. to complete it unless i guess

her like limbs get blown off or something in

the process if she goes like you know to a war

zone type shit and then at that point i guess

that would be pretty awkward just having to lay

there you know in the battlefield or in the streets

as a fucking human potato but again ruth i would

not shed a tear if that happened to you but anyway

after ruth gets hauled off the footage then cuts

to robin And she's at the lake filling up a squirt

gun with water from that lake. And this, of course,

is the same squirt gun that she gave Ruth's little

cousin, hence being the source of her unwanted

and unexpected immortality. End of segment. So

let's go to the ratings. For story, I gave No

Wake in Ambrosia a five out of five. I loved

it. Of course, it started off. poorly right i

was mad you know but man it really came through

at the end there like it was original it was

engaging i didn't know where things were going

i thought it was dope for a lot of these segments

i'm just trying to watch them for like face value

not really trying to dive too deeply into any

kind of like messages or commentary that may

come from it but sometimes The commentary just

like comes through whether I want it to or not

or whether I'm looking for it or not. And this

was an example of that. The Wrigley family presents

as pretty wealthy and the RV gang presents as

significantly less wealthy. So having this these

rich people use people who aren't as well off

as them as kind of pawns to further their own

wealth. I think sums up a lot of society in general.

My assumption is that these seven sacrifices

are made in exchange for that wealth and power

and status, etc. So it's been this continuation

dating back generations, it seems. You know,

they got that old ass money. So I'm assuming

that the seven, whomever they may be, are some

kind of like demons or... you know otherworldly

supernatural entities that are bestowing this

power in exchange for these blood sacrifices

and i think the seven are like a stand -in for

like big business or these big conglomerates

these corporations that are building or amassing

this huge amount of wealth that is hoarded by

people at the very very top but it's fundamentally

built on the backs and the labor and the hard

work of people beneath him who are not seeing

nearly as much wealth as these people at the

top and these people would literally rather die

than give up their power another takeaway i had

was the family aspect of things how this kid

ruth Even though, fuck her, she's still like

15, 16 years old. She's been indoctrinated from

birth, most likely, that this is how things are.

Like she never was given an opportunity to think

for herself and maybe ask questions about, hey,

why are we sacrificing seven people again? Can

you remind me why we are all murderous pieces

of shit? And so. A lot of these negative traits

in society, you know, whether it's racism, misogyny,

xenophobia, whatever it is like these traits

are not inherently present in anybody. They are

learned. They are passed down from parents to

their children. And these things are perpetuated

because these kids. who internalize these things

don't have the opportunity or don't have the

willpower to try to be like, you know what? Nah,

I'm actually not rocking with that. And so these

things aren't ever going to go away because there's

always going to be someone who is going to teach

these things. And there's always going to be

someone who is going to listen because their

mommy and daddy is saying this to them. And they'll

probably continue to poorly mask these things

under the guise of politics and religion. But

I digress. For special effects, I gave these

segments a 4 .5. Everything was done with practical

effects. Looked great. You know, Kelly got shot

in the face. Her jaw was hanging on by a thread.

Looked insane. She's sitting there holding it

up. Has Robin helping her hold it up. and looks

like a ventriloquist dummy it's crazy drew after

taking a shot to the chest i think he took a

shot to the like to the gut too and so his intestines

are kind of like spilling out a little bit he's

trying to hold that shit in rob has chunks of

his brain stuck in his hair after getting his

shit blown out and all you know all the gunfire

with the big shootout at the end and all that

shit just really practically well done For situational

fear, I gave these segments a rating of a four.

Being out on the boat would have been the most

terrifying aspect for me. That part by itself

is a total five. Not only are you pinned down

by sniper fire, you have no idea where the shots

are coming from. You're seeing your friends around

you die. You've taken some hits too. People are

missing fingers and shit. That is definitely...

terrifying my pants would have been shat not

only that I personally have a fear of like murky

water I do not fuck with lakes at all if I can't

see through the surface all the way to the bottom

that shit freaks me out because I have no idea

what's down there whether it's like a snapping

turtle or fucking kraken you know I don't know

like deep ocean bro bro deep ocean is absolutely

petrifying for me like who knows what's down

there we haven't even explored very much of the

oceanic depths you know what i mean a very small

percentage and we've seen some weird shit just

in that small percentage so who knows what's

down there fucking kaijus and shit hell no terrifying

But I do have to take the Wrigley family's fear

level into consideration as well. And they didn't

seem very afraid at all. Like they were ready

to go. This is what they expected would happen

at some point. And they went out the way they

wanted to go out. So they were chilling. The

RV folks were not chilling. So I'm going to lean

towards them, but can't go with the full five

because of the Wrigley family. So we'll go with

that four. And finally, for likelihood of death,

I gave these segments a 5 out of 5. I mean, everybody

died. Like, literally, everybody died. And I

don't think there was any way to avoid it. I

mean, the people on the boat or at the lake,

they just got sniped. They couldn't run anywhere.

You know, the people on the boat were trapped.

The people in the tent, they were vulnerable.

They couldn't see outside of the tent, so they

were in a confined space. They had no shot. And

then the Wrigley family, they had no intentions

of being taken alive. So their deaths were pretty

much guaranteed as well. So average all these

ratings together and we get a score for No Wake

and Ambrosia of a 4 .63. So to recap all the

Rankings Recap, Leaderboard Update & Outro

ratings for the segments in VHS 85, at number

5 we had Techno God with a 2 .75, then we had

Total Copy with a 3 .0, next came God of Death

with a 3 .5, followed by Dream Kill with a 4

.0, and then No Wake in Ambrosia with that 4

.63. And a 4 .63 is a pretty high score, so I

think our top 5 overall just got shaken up. So

sorry, Ozzy's Dungeon, you are now out of there.

So coming in at number five, we have Amateur

Night from VHS with a score of a 4 .13. Number

four, The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When

She Was Younger, also from VHS with a score of

4 .25. Sliding into that number three spot, we

now have No Wake in Ambrosia from VHS 85 with

a score of 4 .63. And our top two remain unchanged

with Safe Haven from VHS2 coming in with a 4

.75 and at number one, The Subject from VHS94

with a score of 4 .88. But that's all for me.

I'm out of here. I'll see you in two weeks for

VHS Beyond, which was my most liked film in this

franchise prior to starting this rewatch. So

we'll see if it still holds up. But in the meantime,

remember... Always keep it spooky.