VHS 99 Segments Ranked, Analysis & Recap: Gorgons Gone Wild

Cold open

You know what's interesting about this whole webcam spying scenario? Like putting morality aside for a second, because of course being a peeping Tom is gross behavior and notably illegal. But what if the situation was flipped? What if Medusa had an OnlyFans? From a marketing standpoint, there's some real potential there. I mean, the tagline kind of writes itself. Subscribe now to Medusa69. Guaranteed to get you rock hard. Bro, that shit would fly off the shelf. I'm Brandon O. This is Terrorific, and we're chopping up 2022's VHS 99.

Welcome back to the place where

Welcome and intro

it's perpetually spooky season. Happy New Year. I hope your 2026 is off to a tremendous start so far. Mine's going okay. You know, just trying to recover from December's spending spree. We have birthdays for two of our kids, plus Christmas of course, having to buy gifts for a family of six, plus extended family. So right now our credit card bill just looks stupid. And on top of all that, now that it's January, that means our annual HOA fee's also due. So just a lot of large purchases and expenditures happening at once or in a short span of time.

But I did figure out a little bit of a hack for the HOA fees. So first of all, this is my little financial literacy class, I guess. So first of all, I don't or we don't use. Debit cards or cash. So my wife and I, we share an account, joint account. Right. And we only use our credit card and our credit card has one point five percent cash back on all purchases. Right. So it's just it's free money for things that we would be buying regardless. And so our credit card statement, the billing period runs from the 20th through the 19th.

No, it closes on the 20th. So it runs from the 21st to the 20th. the following month so right now our credit card statement that we're paying for was purchases from November 21st through December 20th and that payment is due on January 17th so with this HOA fee coming up I don't want to have to pay for that in February so what I'm gonna do is delay making that payment for as long as I can so I read the fine print And the HOA payment is not considered late until 30 days later, which is going to be the last day of the month.

And so if our credit card statement closes on the 20th and that bill is due on February 17th, so that period is going to be December 21st through January 20th. If I pay for the HOA fee. on January 21st or later, sometime between the 21st or the 30th, then that's going to fall outside of that billing period and be included in January 21st through February 20th, which will then make my payment for that due on March 17th. So I will buy something in January and not have to pay for it for nearly two months later if I time it right.

And when I first devised this strategy, I tried to talk to my wife about it and explain it to her. And she was just like, I do not care. We are we are very, very different people in a lot of avenues in life, especially when it comes to like finances. Like, I mean, I'm I'm an accountant. auditor financial analyst all those things and so numbers and money is what i do and look at constantly for her she's just like you know if i have money in my account cool i know not to spend xyz amount cool but i don't need to know about moving shit around and timing differences and staggering blah blah blah she's very very big picture in that regard and me like I'm in the shit, you know, and nuance is my middle name when it comes to like finances.

And so We we have our our areas of responsibility. So clearly I am the money manager and she manages most of other things in our lives. So it works out, you know, balance. But it was just it was funny to me that she's just like shut that shit down immediately. Like I like I could see like her eyes like start to like gloss over as I was as I was as I was speaking like like, OK, you don't really care about this, do you? She's like, no, no, I don't like respect. Respect. Okay, thank you for coming to my TED Talk, but now let's get to why you're

Leaderboard recap and segment overview

really here. So, we have gone through half of the films in the VHS franchise in our quest to crown the best segment of them all, grading each one based on four independent criteria, beginning with the story quality, then it's the special effects quality, followed by situational fear, and finally, the likelihood of death. All these grades are then averaged together to create one overall score, and that determines our ranking. So to this point, we've chopped up 20 segments in VHS. So our bottom three currently at number 18, we have Tape 56 from the first VHS with a score of 2 .38.

At number 19, we have Slumber Party Alien Abduction from VHS 2 with a score of 2 .13. And bringing up the rear, we have at number 20, Vicious Circles from VHS Viral with a score of 2 .0. And the cream of the crop, our top five. At number five, we have Terror from VHS 94 with a score of 4 .0. At number four, we have Amateur Night from VHS with a score of 4 .1. At number three, we have The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger, also from VHS, with a score of 4 .25. At number two, we have Safe Haven from VHS2, with a score of 4 .75.

And our current top dog, number one, The Subject from VHS94, with a score of a damn near perfect, a sparkling, a sterling 4 .88.

‘Shredding’ breakdown

VHS 99 brings us five new segments to break down. So kicking us off at number five, we have Shredding. Now, Shredding was written and directed by Maggie Levin, whose filmography also includes the award -winning 2020 short titled Heel. And also in 2020, My Valentine from Blumhouse's Into the Dark TV movie series. Now, I really enjoy that series. If you haven't seen it yet, you should definitely check it out. It's on Hulu, which I have canceled. Awkward. But basically, each story takes place on or is related to a holiday or day of significance or importance.

So, for example, you of course have the big ones like Halloween, Christmas, Thanksgiving. But then you also have stories related to like International Women's Day, First Day of School, April Fool's Day, St. Patrick's Day, stuff like that. Pretty entertaining. There's like, you know, 20 of them or whatever it is, and they're all like an hour and a half -ish long. They're movie length, but they are technically TV episodes. But yeah, definitely recommend checking that out if you haven't seen it already.

But Shredding centers on a group of friends who are also a punk rock band named R .A .C., which is an acronym for their names Rachel, Ankur, Chris, and Caleb. Rack plans to break into a shuttered music video, which is a music video music venue, which has been closed for three years because of an electrical fire that claimed the lives of four people. And the four people who died were the band that were on stage performing that night. Bitch Cat, which is a fire name for a band, by the way. I wish I was musically inclined or like rock inclined specifically.

Because rock band names are always the best. You can just be so creative with that shit. That's going to be my question for the week. If you had a rock band, what would your rock band be called? Or maybe you do have a rock band. What is it called? If I had one, I would name mine... Let me think about that for a second. I probably should have thought about this before now. But that's the spontaneity that you get with Terrific. Okay, so let me think. I would go something, like, super random. Probably, like, shit.

Titanium stop sign? Like, that sounds hard as fuck, you know? Just something that makes no sense at all. Or, like, semi -gloss paint?

Something dumb. But, yeah, when this electrical fire broke out, the fans were trying to escape, and they ended up trampling Bitch Cat to death. Awkward. But as Rack prepares to make their journey over to the colony underground, Ankur is hesitant because he believes in the Hindu concept of Buddhas, which are spirits with unfinished business who possess people who come and disturb them. They are looking for something to move on to the afterlife. And if you get in their way, they will take over your body and fuck shit up.

So before they go to the colony underground, Ankur, being the sensible one in the group, stops by his house first to grab some anti -buta spices, some warding spices. And the other three people, they just troll him the entire time. They're, like, faking that, like, ghost shit is happening. They even, like, pretend to get possessed when they start performing on the stage after breaking into the colony underground. And they're just not taking the threat of these butas seriously at all. And Ankur eventually gets fed up and is like, you know what?

Fuck y 'all. Fuck this. I hope the Buddha get all of you. And they're like, OK, Ankur, whatever you want to be a bitch, be a bitch. Bye bye. And he goes off somewhere by himself and the other three continue their hijinks. So they bring three inflatable sex dolls with them. And they fill it up with, like, red jello. And they start stomping on them to, like, simulate the band being trampled to death. Which, even under the best of circumstances, is a dick move. But when there's the possibility of some butas around, probably shouldn't press your luck like that.

But, hey, you live and you learn. Or you learn and then die. Which seems to happen here. pretty quickly afterwards. Better grab your umbrella because the forecast is calling for showers because the ghost or the butas yank Caleb up into the air not long after they've been stomping on these jello -filled sex dolls. And we don't see what happens to him. All we hear and then subsequently see is an explosion and his body parts and blood rain down on the ground. And at this point, uh chris and what's her name rachel there we go chris and rachel see this shit and they're like uh wow maybe we should get out of here and they try to run away but they get caught and ripped apart and ankur apparently didn't actually try to leave the venue he was just like pouting in a corner somewhere and so he gets run up on but thankfully he has his handy dandy anti -buddha spices And he throws them in one of their faces and it sizzles them for a second.

But then they just like, OK, your powers aren't going to work here, buddy. And he dies to R .I .P. Rack. They all get dismembered, but they are then reassembled by the bitch cat Buddhas who then possess their reassembled, reanimated corpses and start performing on stage. They start to shred. End of segment. So let's go to the ratings. For the story, I gave this a 2. I don't think I was the target audience. I'm not really a punk rocker. People who do identify with that kind of life and aesthetic, they would probably find more, you know, fulfilling stuff in here.

But yeah, it just really wasn't for me. And from like a horror perspective, horror standpoint, I wanted to see a little bit more, you know, more fear, I guess. It was just the music seemed to be the main focus, which I can appreciate. Oh, my gosh. My cats are knocking something over. Wow. That sounded dangerous. Let me let me pause this recording in return. I need to see what they're doing. Hold on. OK, they just knocked over like a toy dump truck and it collided with like a plastic chair that was nearby.

So anyway, I'm not typically a proponent of like flashbacks because that can seem kind of like a cheap narrative tool if not done properly. But I think in this instance, a flashback could have been beneficial, like showing us that fire, showing us bitch cat be trampled, I think would have added a level of like. like a dynamic element to the story a little bit more um special effects i gave it a four special effects were pretty solid so the makeup and the effects for the butas the bitch cat band themselves once they resurrected and came back it looked pretty gnarly you know just nasty skulls and you know still flesh hanging off and stuff and there was one person who lost their foot and their boot was melted to the floor.

I thought that was a pretty creative touch and added some realism to the whole thing. And whenever, oh boy, Caleb got beamed up into the sky and then shredded up there and rained down all of his viscera, that was pretty well done as well. um and every time that one of the kids got like torn apart there's like arms flying and shit off the camera or off from the side of the screen and fucking thighs and shit so they definitely invested some time and some effort into the special effects and i can appreciate that especially when it's practical effects i would like oh my gosh this sinus shit bro it's been like fucking two and a half weeks and it's still kicking my ass um but i would liken like The visual of what the band looked like, Bitch Cat looked like in their Buddha version, they look kind of like punk versions of the Crypt Keeper.

And there was a funny moment that happened. So once Rachel got torn into pieces, two of the band members were trying to reassemble her like a little puzzle. And you could just see them like, huh, this doesn't really fit. And just kind of working through that. So I always appreciate a little bit of dark comedy. Situational fear, I gave it a three. They never really took the threat of the Buddha seriously until they showed up. And even then, you know, things spiraled so quickly that I don't think they even really had the time to really understand the gravity of the situation before they were seeing their friend exploded and having themselves torn apart.

And they were trolling my boy Ankur. You know what I mean? He tried to warn them like, hey. There may be some bad juju around here, but they were dismissive. And to his credit, or I guess lack of credit. Like, bro, if you feel the need to go back to your house to obtain some anti -Buddha spices, then you clearly think the threat is real enough. Why are you even still going there? Like, dog, I think he was trying to get at Rachel. you know and there's plenty of fish in the sea my boy like especially if you're in a band dog man he could have been pulling mad hoes son but no he wanted to go for one specific person and she wasn't even vibing with him like that dog like friendzone city friendzone city low -key friendzone city would be another fire name for a band uh okay finally likelihood of death i gave this a 2 .5 um obviously the quickest or the most sensible solution to all of this would have been not to break into an abandoned music venue where four people were trampled to death and had the possibility of their ghosts still haunting the premises so possible to the point that one of the four people involved had to stop by their house to get something to defend themselves with There are plenty of other places where you could make your music.

Why do you feel the need to go to this cursed location? So congratulations, you played yourself. R .I .P. So that brings our total Terrific score up to a 2 .88 for Shredding.

‘Suicide Bid’ breakdown

My number four segment, NVHS 99, which, by the way, this is the first film in the franchise to not have a frame narrative. So no one is watching TV screens in these other segments being those stories that that person is watching. Everything is just out in the ether, I guess. But yeah, so number four, we have Suicide Bid, which was written and directed by Johannes Roberts, whose filmography includes 47 Meters Down and its sequel, The strangers pray at night. And the brand new joint that just dropped, Primate.

Its story centers on lonely college freshman Lily who wants to join a sorority. And it's the only sorority she's applying for, which is known as a suicide bid. Because if they say no, she won't be able to join any other sorority. Fast forward a week and Lily is absolutely wasted as this sorority that she is rushing. takes her to a mausoleum and graveyard and they tell her about the legend of guillotine now guillotine was a desperate and alone freshman who they say was just like you lily which should have been an immediate red flag if your sorority sisters are already or not even your sorority sisters your prospective sorority sisters are already referring to you as desperate and alone They probably don't really like you, bro.

But anyway, the story goes that 20 years ago, there was a freshman who also wanted to join a sorority. But in order to join, she had to spend the night buried in a coffin. And those girls left her there for an entire week. And when they finally came to dig up the coffin, it was empty. And legend has it that she dug her way into the underworld. Now, when she comes knocking, she's looking for someone living to take back to the underworld to play with. So now, in order for Lily to earn her membership in the sorority, she must spend a night in a coffin.

A night buried alive. And the other girls all lie to her and say they did it too. They've also run a string from inside the coffin to a bell on the outside so that if Lily rings it, the girls will dig her up, but doing so will cause her bid to be forfeit. So they give her a camcorder to film everything and also a box to open only when she's at her most frightened and ready to quit. So Lily climbs into the coffin, the other girls seal it, and they bury her. And as she's in this very tight, confined space, she starts to get a little bit scared.

And that is taken up another notch when the girls on the surface start knocking on the coffin with their shovels. And Lily thinks that it is guilting coming to get her. And she freaks out and she's like, all right, maybe I'll quit. But then she gets one last moment of like bravery. And decides to open the box instead so that she can feel the comfort that was promised to her by her prospective sorority sisters. But, spoiler alert, they are assholes. If you couldn't tell already. And this box is filled with, you guessed it, spiders.

So now, not only is Lily buried alive. She also has all these fucking spiders crawling over her, bro. What the fuck? That is madness. That is fucked up. That is like there's dick moves and then there's whatever this is. This is like an astronomical level of assholery. Wow. College kids are dickheads. But what about you? What was your experience like? Did you did you rush? Did you pledge a sorority or fraternity? what was some of like the craziest things that happened to you during your your bid process we don't need to talk about hazing if that's going to get you in trouble but i do want to know if there was something that you could share that was just like wow these guys are assholes but i still want to join them for whatever reasons you may have had i never rushed or pledged any any fraternity.

Uh, I am an extreme introvert, not extreme, maybe extreme, maybe extreme introvert. People don't believe me when I say that, uh, because I know how to like, you know, talk to people. Um, but there's a common misconception with introverts. Introverts doesn't have to necessarily mean that you're like shy or self suffer from like crippling social anxiety or can't hold a conversation. You know what I mean? I just get my energy. From being by myself, that is how I recharge. Being around people does not energize me.

It drains my energy. I enjoy it. I can enjoy it. Often do. But when I need to recharge, I need to be alone. So being in a fraternity never really had any kind of appeal for me. But, you know, to each their own. and with friends like these though who the fuck needs enemies like dropping spiders into this first of all how they even get the spiders into this box like who's catching spiders bro maybe they're like so committed to like this whole hazing ritual that they actually grow their own spiders in their sorority house they have like a spider nursery That would be fucking hilarious.

Like they just have one dedicated sister who was like a little bit weird, but she's really good at like raising spiderlings. And they just like have a spider farm to fucking haze people with this legend of guillotine act. But to no surprise, once the spiders come out and start crawling on her face, Lily rings the bell to be let out. But before the other sorority girls can dig her up. Cops show up to the cemetery and they start to panic. So they run away so they don't get caught and expelled for a hazing.

And they say they'll come back later for Lily. And as they depart, it begins to storm and muddy water begins to fill up this hole and flood into the coffin. So as Lily tries not to drown, she begins to hear knocking. and sees guillotine's face she has come to visit her and take her back to the underworld so she has someone to play with pretty fucking awkward and guillotine starts off with some light knocking but then she drops a people's elbow into this shit and just like splinters the entire top and just has her dank ass stank ass breath probably hot as hell just breathing all in lily's face so goddamn lily let's let's recap here first of all just in case you forgot she is absolutely wasted so like what is going through her mind right now like she has to be just freaking the fuck out so i know it smells crazy in this coffin like you have that liquor breath she probably threw up on herself at some point now you got all this mud and shit you got spiders and she squished a couple of them so you got like spider guts Then you got guillotine with her 20 year dead flesh and stink ass teeth and all that going on in this very tight, confined space.

I would have been throwing up everywhere. I can only imagine how shitty that smells. But staying true to their word, the sorority girls did return. It only took them nine hours, but they came back. and once they get there they see that the hole is completely flooded and yeah what can you do with that so one of them dives in there and goes to investigate and comes back and reports that the coffin is empty and another one's like what no fucking way bro and she also dives in there and comes back and confirms that the coffin is indeed empty And so these girls make a pact to never speak of what happened.

But then we get a time skip. And later that night, they end up buried in their own individual coffins with their own individual camcorders. And they have no recollection of how they got there. So now they are experiencing what Guillotine and Lily experienced. And then Annie, the sorority girl's ringleader. uh lily shows up in her coffin and annie's like oh shit look at you all ghosted up and lily lily explains that she cut a deal with guillotine that she would let her go in exchange for giving her as many sisters as she could possibly want now i got a question here because this is where the segment ends but What kind of fucking deal is this?

Because Lily looked hella dead. She looked pretty fucked up. So I'm not really understanding how exactly she was let go. It just looks like you got roped into being an accomplice. Like, if you're gonna kill me, just kill me. Don't kill me and then also put me to work with you as well. Like, what the fuck kind of deal is that? i don't i don't understand that but let's go to the rating so for the story i gave suicide bid a score of a three i don't think it was anything like special or anything to write home about you know we've seen people get bullied before and bullied people seek vengeance etc etc uh you know the ghost tag team aspect i guess was somewhat unique um but it does raise some interesting like questions for me or like thought exercises like thinking about the extent that certain people would go to in order to feel a sense of like community or acceptance like there is no way in hell i don't care how lonely i am there's no way i'm going to agree to be buried alive uh in a coffin you know in the middle of a storm but it is interesting to think like you know how how lonely must you feel how badly must you want to belong somewhere that you feel like this is a logical course of action to take that's sad to think about so I hope there aren't many people out there who feel that way or would go to those lengths.

This is a very extreme, you know, fictitious situation, of course, but makes you think. And I imagine that's probably the point of the story. So if so, point received. Special effects, I gave it a 2 .5. Practical effects, I respect that, but... quality just really wasn't there for me uh with guillotine looked kind of cheesy a little bit and the makeup with underworld lily also wasn't my favorite so you know just an average score there for the special effects situational fear this is an easy one easy easy easy you are buried alive in a storm in a coffin with spiders crawling all over you while a ghost goblin zombie whatever the fuck like nibbles and gnaws on your chin that is definitely a five for situational fear holy shit i mean yeah that fucking sucks and for likelihood of death i gave this a score of a two uh because don't crawl into a coffin i mean yeah i mean lily chose this life which you know she may have had her reasons but still a choice was made that probably should not have been made on this campus i imagine there could have been other sorority options to choose from So going with the suicide bit to begin with probably wasn't the wisest decision.

Of course, hindsight's 20 -20. Couldn't have predicted that she'd be buried alive and turn into a fucking goblin. But here we are. Life comes at you fast. Regardless, though, yeah, desperation never leads to good choices. So definitely could have been avoided the fates that unfurled in this story. Average all those ratings together and that brings us to an overall score for suicide bid of a 3 .13. I switched out the chair that I normally record in, so I guess that has me feeling more conversational than usual because I'm like super hella comfortable right now.

It's like I took one of the chairs from our family room that the cats always fucking play tag on and crawl on. But I was like, you know what? Let me stop using my computer chair that squeaks all the time. So if I move even the slightest amount like this sound comes in, even when I try to like put on WD -40 on it, it just doesn't last very long. And so if I sit in that chair and I record, I have to sit perfectly still. Otherwise, everything gets picked up on the mic. Or I have a bar stool that I typically use that usually works pretty well, but it has no.

arm rests. So if I'm recording for too long, then I guess my posture probably isn't the best because like my shoulders start hurting and like my back starts hurting because I don't have anywhere to rest my arms. So now that I have this lounge chair, like, bro, I'm just like fucking chilling and I'm like cozy as hell. So yeah, this episode I think is trending to be a little bit longer than usual because I'm just so comfortable right now. And on that note, if you're still here listening, don't forget to hit that subscribe or follow button on whatever platform is your preference.

I would imagine it's whatever you're listening to right now, but I am on all the platforms. So like, share, comment, you know, leave a rating. All those things help Terrific continue to grow. The growth has been consistent, which is nice to see. But yeah, I just want to tap in with the community out there. You know, leave me some comments. Let me know what you're thinking. You know, what are your ratings for these segments? What would you name your rock band? That's the question of the week. All those things.

Let me know in the comments or let me know on social media. You know, follow over there on Instagram at Terrific Podcast. I'm also on threads. I'm currently chronicling my journey through watching The Sopranos for the first time. So yeah, tap in with your boy. But all right, let's get back to it. So our number three segment in VHS 99

‘The Gawkers’ breakdown

is The Gawkers. This was directed by Tyler McIntyre, who also co -wrote it, along with Chris Lee Hill. McIntyre's filmography includes 2017's Tragedy Girls, 2020's Good Boy, which was another entry in Blumhouse's Into the Dark TV series, as well as 2023's It's a Wonderful Knife. mcintyre and hill were both also writers on five nights at freddy's the story of the gawkers centers on 14s dylan kurt mark and boner which uh i probably would not choose that to be my name but you know to each their own uh but these guys are filming themselves pulling pranks and skateboarding and shit And while they're shredding, Boner breaks his arm and asks, is this normal?

And as he says that, his shit like flops to the side. So that kind of tells you kind of the headspace that Boner is going to be in for this segment. But these little degenerates graduate from pulling pranks to trying to film like upskirt videos using a makeshift hidden camera. They cut a hole into a bag or something and then put their VHS camera in there and got spotted pretty much immediately because it's not subtle whatsoever. But they soon set their sights on their next target, Dylan's hot neighbor across the street.

They film her as she floats in her pool, washes her car in Daisy Dukes, and they're basically just creaming their pants the entire time. And there's a funny moment when she's out washing her car where a delivery van pulls up and like blocks their view. And they're mad, of course, because they can't circle jerk anymore. But the van's company name is Deliveries Unlimited International, a .k .a. DUI. So I thought that was a little funny thing to throw in there. But since they aren't able to be peeping toms at that moment, that allows them to observe other things in the neighbor's yard.

And they notice that she has these stone busts just kind of out there. And then enters Dylan's little brother, Brady. He is what the group considers to be a dweeb. He likes to film himself. making stop motion videos, playing with toy soldiers and whatnot. So Dylan and his friends don't really respect him. He hasn't earned boners respect. Darn. But Brady decides to go out and try to learn how to rollerblade around the cul -de -sac. And while he's out there, the neighbor across the street comes out and invites him inside her house.

And the other boys are extremely jealous as they watch from the upstairs window. You know, they thought that he looked like a loser skating around with his little knee pads and elbow pads. But here he is, you know, being led inside by the arm by this hot neighbor. And when Brady returns, he says that, oh, yeah, neighbor Sandra, you know, she's cool. And I'm going to go back over there to help her set up her her new webcam. And this is when Dylan Boner and friends seize their opportunity. And they're like, hey, Brady.

we'll let you hang out with us if you install spyware on sandra's computer and since brady appears to desire nothing more than wanting to be accepted by his big bro and his friends not so different from lily in the suicide bid segment he reluctantly agrees to go along with the plan so goes over there installs the webcam and while sandra goes to get him a glass of water He also installs a spyware. Once he returns, they test the connection and they find out that it's been successful. So they are watching Sandra via her webcam.

And as she gets ready to hop into the shower, she strips and they watch her strip. And this stripping includes her taking off her wig. And they're like, whoa, what's going on here? And then at that point, her head begins to move and reveals that she has snakes for hair. That is right. Sandra is a Gorgon. The Gorgons are three sisters from Greek mythology, Steno, Uriah Lee, and of course, the most well -known one being Medusa. Medusa was mortal, though, and she was beheaded and therefore killed by Perseus.

However, Steno and Uriah Lee are... immortal so sandra's got to be one of those two and since my movie watching history tells me that people who take on new identities tend to maintain the first letter of their real first name with all of their new identities i'm going to assume that sandra is steno But after Sandra reveals her true nature, she then turns and stares directly into the camera. So at this point, the boys realize that she is aware that they are watching her and they are like, oh, shit.

Next thing you know, they hear some glass breaking and Sandra leaps from her window across the street onto the roof of Dylan and Brady's house. And they are like, fuck, this is not good, guys. she then comes like she breaks in through the fucking roof like some nightmarish version of a greek santa claus and she starts tearing them apart boner dies first i'm pretty sure which of course but brady and dylan make it downstairs and brady's like wait maybe i can reason with her because you know he's such a good guy you know he didn't it wasn't his idea to spy on her he was just going along with it he just wanted to hang out with his brother he doesn't normally do things like this so he thinks that if he just goes up to her and apologizes then everything will be okay uh but jokes on you brady um he gets turned to stone and and dylan's like oh shit not you baby bro but he also gets turned to stone as the camera is held in place by his petrified hand we see sandra just completely transform into gorgon mode and just give a mean stare down getting her get back end of segment so ratings wise for the story i gave this a 3 .5 i thought it was pretty entertaining and pretty original so I was expecting whenever they had Sandra on the spy cam that they would discover that she was a serial killer or like abducting people, whatever it may be.

That tends to be how things go in that situation. But the use of a Gorgon as the reveal, I thought that was a pretty unique choice as a creature in general. So yeah, that didn't even cross my mind. Of course, in hindsight, the stone busts were pretty significant. breadcrumb but if you if your mind went to gorgon on first viewing seeing those stone busts then round of applause to you respect and in modern times the gorgon has come to symbolize female rage so that makes a lot of sense in this context sandra having her privacy violated being objectified by these teenage boys and like the delivery driver etc etc i can understand how some rage would factor into that equation For special effects, I gave the Gawkers a 3.

They weren't bad by any means, but nothing to write home about in my opinion. The Gorgon form was CGI. The boys turning to stone was CGI. Getting torn apart, I think that was also CGI. So had there been some practical effects used in there, not necessarily all of them, but just a little something. Like a little bit of splatter, coin syrup style, I would have given it a higher score. it is what it is situational fear i gave this a four their initial reaction their initial fear stemmed from the fear of being caught not the fear of dying so i have to deem them for that i also have to deem them for brady just like approaching sandra thinking that he could talk his way out of the situation like you just saw people get torn apart bro like there's like literally blood and body parts on your bedroom floor And you're trying to have a conversation right now like that is crazy.

That is crazy. So maybe he was afraid and just really brave. But I don't think so. I think there was some delusion there. The same delusion that thought he wasn't as guilty of like being a perv as his brother and his friends were. That same delusion drove him to be like, you know what, let me go approach this woman with snakes for hair who has just torn apart at least three people. Madness. And finally, for likelihood of death, I gave this one a score of a 2 .5. Everything could have just been avoided had they not been pervs.

You know, maybe that's asking too much of teen boys. You know, they can't control themselves. Boys will be boys. No, stop being so horny. Congratulations, you played yourself. So averaging all those grades together gives the Gawkers an overall score of 3 .25. Coming in at the number two spot for my

‘To Hell and Back’ breakdown

favorite segments in VHS 99 is To Hell and Back. This one was written and directed by Vanessa and Joseph Winter, who are best known for their 2022 hit horror comedy, Deadstream. The story centers around a videographer duo named Nate and Troy, and they have been hired to film a coven performing a ritual to summon a demon at midnight on New Year's Eve. And I don't know what's the craziest aspect of the scenario. Is it the fact that someone agreed to this job offer? The fact that someone was so open and upfront about exactly what the offer entailed?

Or is it the fact that they had a woman who willingly volunteered to be the vessel for this summon demon? Bro, what? But as the coven kicks off the summoning ritual, an uninvited demon shows up instead and drags Nate and Troy down into hell. And it looks like a desert landscape with like demons lurking around. So as to not draw attention to themselves, they kill the light on their camcorder. And at that point, Troy says something licked my hand. Bruh. Hell. Nah. That. I don't. I don't know like what my ranking of irrational fears would be.

But the idea of just like being in darkness and feeling something lick my body, I think would rank pretty highly on that list. Well, let me rephrase that. So the idea of something non -consensually and unexpectedly licking my body in darkness would rank highly on my list of irrational fears. You know, there are certain scenarios where licking in the darkness does not evoke fear, okay? It evokes other feelings. But there's good news and bad news. They turn the light back on and discover that Troy's hand actually was not licked.

That's the good news. The bad news is he put his hand in like a pile of intestines or dismembered body parts. So pretty awkward. And at this point, they realize or accept that they are, in fact, in hell. And Troy even says, we're in hell. I shouldn't be here. I go to church. Funny, funny little shot there at that irrational logic that is employed by lots of people. But these dudes are so unserious, like, as they're navigating this hellish landscape, they almost step into, like, multiple traps, like bear traps and spike traps and shit.

And along the way, they encounter a hell resident named Mabel the Skullbiter, which, that's a fire name. Mabel and the Skullbiters would be, like, a fire band name as well. I'm gonna keep going with this, alright? There's a lot. fire band names in this movie maybe that was intentional okay i'm just like connecting these dots in in real time um but mabel helps guide them to the demon's lair so they can ride his coattails as he's summoned to earth at midnight but she makes this offer in exchange for them writing her name in the book of witches which they agree to because why not nothing to lose right And as they approach this demon's lair, they have to crawl through a spider -webbed, maggot -filled doo -doo tunnel to get inside.

Because they're coming in through the back way, you know, up the poop chute. And once they're inside, you know, once they slide their way in, you know, it takes patience. They find a cult of demons preparing... preparing the uh the big demon for his ascension and they get attacked but they manage to kill them and they jump inside like the belly of this demon i guess and that transports them back to earth and nate ends up inside the vessel which is quickly noticed by the coven so they stab and kill nate they also mortally wound troy since everything got all fucked up But as Troy is dying, he takes some blood that's pouring out of his body, dips his fingers in it, and uses it to write Mabel's name in the Book of Witches before succumbing to his injuries.

End of segment. So for story, I gave To Hell and Back a 4. It was good. It was funny. You could tell that these were the people that made Deadstream. Like, that style of humor was pretty similar. I think where this kind of diverges from Deadstream a little bit, though, is that Deadstream, like horror wise or like fear inducing wise, I thought was a scarier movie. Like it had more moments that even though it was like trying to be funny, it had like some legitimate jump scares in there and whatnot.

Here with To Hell and Back, I think it was more so focusing on the jokes and the horror aspect was very much so like a backdrop. But still. I enjoyed it. For special effects, I gave this one a 5. It was mostly practical effects. There was like a brief CGI moment where like lightning flashes when they're in hell. And there's like a silhouette of a big demon. That was the one thing that I felt like the quality wasn't the best. But even despite that, everything else was so well done that I still had to give it a 5.

The design of the demons, there was like one with wings, one was like faceless, another one was like mutated looking. There was like a little baby demon version, bloody piles of mutilated bodies and body parts. And whenever Nate and Troy are fighting the cult of demons to escape hell, there's like blood spraying all over the place. Like really well done practical effects in my opinion. five out of five situational fear i gave this a three you know you would think that being in hell would be an automatic five and if we had different lead characters that might have been the case but nate and troy and even mabel the skull biter to an extent they were just so unserious that a three i think a three is fair and finally likelihood of death i gave a grade of four I mean, Nate and Troy had to go through a lot.

Journeying through hell, having to crawl through spiderweb maggots and dookie, having to fight off a cult of demon worshippers, having to navigate other demons just hanging out, doing shit, traps all over the place. But they survived all that, only to be felled by the coven once they returned earthside. But all of that could have been avoided. Had they not answered the ad that said help wanted for filming a demonic summoning. So that's kind of on you there, guys. But that brings to Helen back up to an overall score of 4 .0.

Pretty respectable. And it's probably the funniest segment in the franchise so far. So yay. And last but not least,

‘Ozzy's Dungeon’ breakdown

coming in at the number one spot for my favorite segment in VHS 99, we have Ozzy's Dungeon. This segment was directed by Flying Lotus, who also co -wrote it along with Zoe Cooper. Flying Lotus's filmography also includes 2025 sci -fi horror flick Ash. Which is one of the movies that I watched back in October for my 31 in 31 horror movie marathon. And I liked it. It was a beautiful film. The color palette was crazy. And it was just trippy. It kind of felt like a fever dream. Which I guess coincided with the fugue state that the main character found herself in.

So, makes sense. But the story of Ozzy's Dungeon centers on a kids game show. Where teams compete in silly challenges. Kind of similar to those Nick shows in the late 90s. And the winner gets to go into Ozzy's dungeon and have their wish granted. Now, these challenges include things like balloon popping, where the contestants cover themselves in balloons and try to pop them by ramming into each other, as well as a disgusting meat toss challenge where one person has, I think they were blindfolded while their partner tries to toss meat into their mouth.

Some kind of meat, a mystery meat. I'm gonna be honest, I would. not participate in this challenge if i had to be the meat catcher uh that is not something that sounds very appealing to me i guess if you really want to do it i would toss the meat to you but i think blindly catching some sort of mystery item in my mouth would also rank pretty highly on my list of irrational fears but anyway the host of this show is also very clearly racist so that's fun The final two contestants are Donna, who is a black girl from Detroit, and Timmy, who is a white boy from L .A.

And as the host introduces these two finalists, he high -fives Timmy, but leaves Donna hanging. And he also makes some kind of snide comment about her not being able to afford flying to this studio taping. Her and her family drove from Detroit. Yeah, those microaggressions. Always fun. But whoever manages to complete the obstacle course within the time allotted will be declared the winner, and they'll be able to journey down to the dungeon, meet Ozzy, and have their wish granted. But here's the catch.

They have to retrieve a flag, and fighting over it is allowed. And so since Donna is waxing Timmy's ass in this competition... He decides the only way to get ahead is to grab onto her leg, press his weight down on it, which causes it to severely break. Hmm. I think there's a message there. But it turns out that this game show occurrence has been previously recorded and it's being played back on a VHS tape. So as we zoom back out to get the full picture, we see that the host is being held captive in a cage in a room.

And there's a recreated set of Ozzy's dungeon in there. And Donna's mom is the mastermind. She is pissed about the whole leg thing. She says Donna was supposed to be the one to make it out and become a star. And we see Donna. She's gone like goth and she's wheelchair bound and her leg is a hella. fucked up it looks gross uh let's just call it what it is i mean her mom calls it what it is she donna has like a blanket over her lap she pulls pulls the blanket to the side and the host is like oh he like grimaces when he sees her leg and donna's mom is like tell me what that looks like he's like i don't know what you want me to say and she yells at him it looks like dog meat and i fucking lost it bro I lost it.

And Donna's mom employs one of the foundations of parenting. Bribery. She enlists her son's help in torturing this man in exchange for a Sega Dreamcast, which sounds to me like a pretty sweet fucking deal. So he goes to fetch his mom a jug of acid. And it's important to note that the son's name is Brandon. So Brandon, I understand. Okay. I understand. So Donna's family ties the host to a pole and starts recreating the challenges from her show episode. And first up is the balloon pop game, but they don't have any balloons.

So Brandon, I think, just puts on like a spiked helmet or some shit and just rams old dude in the chest and stabs him. So yeah. All right. Next up is the meat toss, which is like some congealed ass shit. that makes old boy puke on himself so yeah like i said mystery me tossing is a big no for me especially if it's like rotten apparently and congealed so that sucks and then finally he has a final challenge that includes you know they've recreated this uh this obstacle course and it includes crawling through literal shit so i know I know it smells crazy in there.

So I just got to ask, like, bro, what is everybody else doing? Like, OK, you're torturing him, but you're also torturing yourselves, too. Like Donna, her mom, her dad and her brother are just sitting in this like shit warehouse. Just like what? And y 'all are like watching the film, like the tape of Donna's competition first. Right. So. y 'all couldn't like watch that outside of the shithouse and then like you know like then journeyed back inside why do you have to just like sit there in this shit factory i i don't understand that and also like the tunnel or whatever was like pretty pretty lengthy like i imagine it took like a significant amount of shit to fully populate the length of like this track or whatever so who shit is it what kind of shit is it is it human shit is it animal shit is it donna's family like collecting their shit over this course of like two weeks and just like really letting it fester for this dude like what level of depravity are we reaching here Or do they just like take the the efficient route and just like go buy a bunch of manure and just spray some water on it real quick to make it all mushy?

I don't know. I have a lot of questions here. But if you if it's really that personal for you, if you really can go to the extent to kidnap a man, buy a jug of acid to threaten him with, stab him with a football helmet or whatever the fuck and have him crawl through some shit. I mean, I would think at that point you're trying to like fully commit. I'm just gonna say they were collecting their shit for like three weeks straight and then just really, really went balls to the wall. But the host fails to complete the challenge within 60 seconds and right when Donna's mom is about to inject him with a syringe full of acid, he cuts the deal to take them into Ozzy's dungeon to get their wishes granted.

So they head back to the studio where the show was filmed and they head down into the dungeon, which leads into a cave. And in that cave, they find a woman laying on like this bed like altar and she is surrounded by worshipers. And this woman is swollen, you know, engorged actually may be a more accurate word. She looks like she's pregnant with something extremely large and unnatural. And the host wheels Donna up to the altar. and donna whispers her wish to this woman and at that point she begins to moan and groan and thunder starts crashing and her engorged belly splits open and some tentacled creature emerges it looks like a fucked up version of like family guys wacky waving inflatable arm flailing two men with a single glowing eye to top it all off and this thing which apparently is ozzy begins to shoot out some sort of energy blast that melts the faces off the host and Donna's family, with the segment ending as Donna looks into the camera, smiling menacingly.

Story -wise, I gave Ozzy's Dungeon a grade of a 4 .5. I really liked how it was set up, how it was structured. Going from like this silly kind of game show environment almost had like an element of like whimsy to it to this torturous shit tunnel acid injection kind of scenario really had like a nice juxtaposition there that made it seem like I was watching two different segments. You know, I really enjoy having my expectations subverted when I'm watching something. Any kind of misdirection or, you know, swerving off into some unknown territory or that always is entertaining for me.

And I also feel like the social commentary on this segment was like louder than others than maybe like terror. I mean, terror, terror was pretty loud. You know, white supremacy is bad message received. But this one is like commentary. What I what I interpreted was like the commentary on like. the burden of parental expectations and how it can prevent kids from truly having like a childhood when a parent or both parents are vicariously trying to live through them like hey dad yeah maybe you had dreams of going to the pros and being the next you know barry bonds minus the steroids but well maybe if you like steroids who am i to judge but uh you know doesn't mean that little johnny wants to do that shit too you know what i mean so chill the fuck out and so Like with this one, like really, when you think about it, how bad of a parent do you have to be?

Or like how bad of a parent does your child have to perceive you to be for them to have a choice between like healing themselves, being able to walk again and have like a functioning life again or killing you? And they choose to kill you like they choose to take out their their caretakers like Donna literally can't even walk by herself. And she still chooses to take out her parents instead. The forgiveness was impossible. She really points to them as being the factor that destroyed her life. Them and the game show host.

So I thought that was pretty powerful stuff. For special effects, I gave this a 4. Whenever Donna got her leg broken, there were some decent practical effects used. There was blood, bone, etc. compared to some of the other practical effects in other segments within vhs this one didn't look quite as good as those did so had to put it a little bit lower and donna's leg looked absolutely insane so i mean her mom said it best looks like dog meat and even that might be a little bit generous um ozzy's creature design looked pretty pretty cool too um very unique and outer worldly looking and then the face melting aspect also well done with practical effects there as well so overall very strong but there just were other examples in vhs like safe haven um the subject etc that i thought had stronger special effects so just for relativity purposes we'll go with that for situational fear comes in with a strong 4 .5 i mean the host being abducted and subjected to torture and having to crawl through ungodly bodily excrement that's pretty scary everyone else once you're confronted with like this giant tentacle thing emerging from some woman's engorged belly that seems pretty frightening as well And then as your face is melted off, that has to be quite terrifying.

But throughout all this, Donna was just chilling. So she brings the overall fear level down a notch slightly. So 4 .5. And finally, for likelihood of death, I gave this a grade of 3 .5. Donna herself. I mean, she harbored this hate for her family that no one knew about, but she couldn't have known that she would have an opportunity to use her wish. So before that, the likelihood of death for her family was close to nil. But obviously that ratcheted up once she was able to get in front of Ozzy and make her wish.

The host was probably going to be cooked from the beginning. He had no way of surviving this. But everyone else, initially, I think their odds were a little bit lower. We'll kind of weight the average a little bit between Donna not knowing that she'd be able to kill her family and the reality of her family being killed and go with that 3 .5. So that brings the overall score for Ozzy's Dungeon to a 4 .13. So to recap all the

Ratings recap, leaderboard update, and outro

ratings of the segments in VHS 99, at number 5 we had Shredding with a score of 2 .88. Number 4, Suicide Bid with a score of 3 .13. Number 3, The Gawkers with a score of 3 .25. Number 2, To Hell and Back with a score of 4 .0. And number 1, Ozzy's Dungeon with that score of 4 .13. And that has shaken up our top 5. Terra has been bumped out of its number 5 spot by Ozzy's Dungeon, which actually isn't a tie with Amateur Night for the number 4 overall, but due to the tiebreaker on the special effects score because they both had a 4 .5 on story.

Amateur Night gets the edge with its 4 .5 in special effects versus Ozzy's Dungeon's 4. So at number 5 is Ozzy's Dungeon from VHS 99 with a score of 4 .13. At number 4 is Amateur Night from VHS also with a score of 4 .13. At number 3 is The Sick Thing That Happened to Emily When She Was Younger from VHS with a score of 4 .25. At number 2 is Safe Haven from VHS 2 with a score of 4 .75. And at number 1 is The Subject from VHS 94. with a score of 4 .88. Our bottom three remain unchanged. So at number 23 now, since we added five more segments, we have Tape 56 from VHS with a score of 2 .38.

At number 24, Slumber Party Alien Abduction from VHS2 with a score of 2 .13. And bringing up the rear, at number 25, Yikes! Vicious Circle from VHS Viral with a score of 2 .0. That's all for me. My family is home now, so you can hear them in the background. The toilet is flushing behind me. I'll see you in two weeks for VHS 85. So in the meantime, remember, always keep it spooky.