Pen15 Candy Co. (VHS Halloween)

Okay, so you've carved off my face. That's rude.

And now you're wearing it like a mask, which

is also rude. But here's where I draw the line.

Don't do that and then also make me wear my face

like a mask. That is so disrespectful and we

would have to box immediately. Torturing me is

one thing. Highly frowned upon and I would rather

you not, but don't make matters worse by also

being an asshole on top of that. Let me be faceless

in peace. I'm Brandon O, this is Terrorific,

and we're chopping up 2025's VHS Halloween. Welcome

back to the place where it's perpetually spooky

season. You know, pod growth begins by just having

your shit placed in front of an audience. No

one can click if they aren't first given the

opportunity to do so. And these algorithms prioritize

ratings and reviews to determine which shows

should be pushed to a wider audience. So I want

to give a shout out to a couple of shows who

helped me out this week by leaving ratings for

Terrific on Spotify or Apple. With Black History

Month just barely in the rear view, let me start

out by shouting out my fellow black horror podcasters

over at You Good Cuh, a horror movie podcast

hosted by Marky and Lex. They describe themselves

as two horror movie junkies who want to give

you a fun review of your favorite horror movies.

And I am here to tell you that they are funny

as hell. Films they've covered include The People

Under the Stairs, Blackula, I Know What You Did

Last Summer, and the classic Halloween. So You

Good Cut is the show that slices into the spine

of horror cinema, one scream at a time, with

new episodes available every Thursday. Next,

shout out to Skip or Scream, hosted by sisters

Maggie and Cassie. Skip or Scream is a scary

movie recap podcast that answers the question,

is the scream worth the stream? Films they've

covered include Sinners, Sissy, The Descent,

Bone Lake, and more. So check out Skipper Scream

on Spotify or Apple with new episodes releasing

every Thursday. And between me and you, you may

be hearing me on one of their episodes this coming

spring. And finally, shout out to Horror 365,

hosted most often by my guys Jimmy and Swift.

I was on live with them on their YouTube channel

last week talking black history and horror along

with Brian from the Killer Point of View podcast

and network. And he's also the founder of our

indie horror collective, The Fear Circuit. So

if you don't know, now you know. Tap in with

all we've got in the works over there at The

Fear Circuit. You can find us on IG at The Fear

Circuit and we all have our individual links

and our bios and all that good stuff and on YouTube

as well. Good shit coming down the pipeline in

2026 from the fear circuit. But now let's get

to the reason you are really here. We'll be chopping

up the segments from VHS Halloween. Thus far

in season three, we have covered seven films

and 36 segments across these seven films, grading

each and every one on four criteria, story quality,

special effects quality, the likelihood of death,

and situational fear. Taking the average of those

four criteria to get one overall score. So our

current leaderboard, the bottom three are at

number 34, Tape56 from VHS with a score of 2

.38. At number 35, Slumber Party Alien Abduction

from VHS2 with a score of 2 .13. And at the bottom,

number 36, Vicious Circles from VHS Viral with

a score of 2 .0. Those have been our bottom three

for a while now, and spoiler alert, no segment

from VHS Halloween has received a score that's

lower than that, so that will be our final bottom

three. But our cream of the crop, the top five,

is as follows. At number five, we have Storic

from VHS Beyond with a score of 4 .25. At number

four, we have the double feature from VHS 85,

Nowake slash Ambrosia with a score of 4 .63.

At number three, we have Live and Let Die from

VHS Beyond with a score of 4 .75. At number two,

we have Safe Haven from VHS2, also with a score

of 4 .75, but it gets the edge over Live and

Let Die because of its higher special effects

score. And at number one, we have The Subject

from VHS94 with a score of 4 .88. There are six

segments in VHS Halloween, so kicking this off

at number six is... Fun Size. Fun Size was written

and directed by Casper Kelly, who also wrote

the Cheddar Goblin sequence in 2018's Mandy,

starring Nicolas Cage, which was a very trippy

movie. But the story of Fun Size centers on a

group of four friends, Hayley and Austin, and

Lauren and Josh. They are both couples, and they

leave a Halloween party that they found to be

underwhelming, because Hayley really wants some

Halloween candy, and since the party was for

adults, They only had booze, which to me doesn't

sound like a bad trade, but Haley convinces everyone

to go trick or treating, probably because she

was a little bit drunk. The first house they

visit belongs to a nice old couple, and the husband

at first questions why these grown ass people

are trick or treating. Way to judge there, old

man, but eventually his wife convinces him to

relax. After Josh announces that he and Lauren

have recently gotten engaged. And Lauren looks

absolutely thrilled about this. And if you can't

tell I'm being sarcastic. I am. But after getting

their candy they walk away. And Haley complains

that she got sour candy. Because sour candy sucks.

And she throws it into the couple's lawn as they

walk away. Which first of all that is hella rude.

Second of all sour candy is absolutely disgusting.

Elite. Anyway, Lauren and Haley hang back for

a second while the boys continue forward and

they discuss the fact that Lauren was supposed

to break up with Josh, but instead she got engaged

to him. Interesting turn of events. And I wonder

if this is like some commentary on modern dating

and relationships. Like we, some of us feel like

we're supposed to get married. We grow up being

told that. getting a house and the white picket

fence and the dog and the kids is like the american

dream and all that blah blah blah but you know

that's not for everybody and sometimes when you're

in the pursuit of that maybe you find a person

that's okay you know maybe they're not the person

that you really really want to be with but you

don't want to start over and go back to ground

zero so you end up settling That's probably why

the divorce rate is like 50%. But I think the

larger problem here is that as a society, we

have gotten so used to instant gratification

that we don't really want to work for things

anymore. Life has become about the destination

and not about the journey. And I'm here to tell

you, marriage is quite the journey. So if you

are not down for that, beware. Anyway, I digress.

As the friends proceed on their trick -or -treating

adventure, they arrive at the next house and

they see a candy bowl sitting on a table on the

porch with the sign saying to only take one per

person. And as they kind of sift through this

candy, they notice it's a little bit strange.

Nothing is a name brand that they recognize.

In fact, the names are all weird as fuck. I'm

talking things like fligs and splits, snippers,

but the E is like a percentage sign. round crunch

and and and but the two bookend ands are like

ampersands and larry find and finally fernets

i can't even pronounce this shit fernet fernet

nurse keeps it papa i'll tell you what if someone

tried to give me some candy named fernet nerds

keeps it papa i'd tell them that keeps that shit

away from me but anyway austin opens one up and

as he looks at it It looks like a chocolate -covered

dick, like, complete with ridge tip and veins

and everything. Like, this is very phallic. And

I know Superbad said the best foods in life are

all shaped like penises, but this one is really,

really shaped like a penis, to the point that

I'm pretty sure it's probably a penis. But Austin

takes a big bite and gets that gooey white cream

all over his chin. And at this point, I was certain

that this was definitely a penis. He goes to

take more candy against the science rules. And

when a hand reaches up from the bowl and grabs

his wrist, he's like, oh, shit, that's weird.

But he's also like, also, that's kind of cool

because it seems like some interactive haunted

house. It stops being cool when he can't pull

himself free and instead ends up being pulled

into the candy bowl. And his boy Josh tries to

save him by grabbing onto his ankles and ends

up being pulled in there as well. And Haley and

Lauren being two intelligent young women see

this occur and decide to make the business decision

to run away. and they retreat back to the street

to call 911, but before Lauren can give the address,

the bowl flies at them and sucks them in too.

They awaken in what appears to be some large

industrial building or warehouse or factory or

something, and the area that they're in is spacious

and empty, except for the candy bowl sitting

in the middle under a spotlight. So Austin approaches

and the bowl only has the one per person sign

sitting in it. And as he holds it up to the rest

of the group, some liquid comes dumping down

on him from above. And he's like, oh shit, what

is going on? And Haley asked him if it burns.

And he's like, nah, it's actually sticky. And

this dude sniffs it. And then this motherfucker

takes a taste. of it and says hmm it's sweet

i don't know about you but if i got sucked into

a candy bowl woke up in some abandoned industrial

warehouse factory type shit and had some mystery

liquid dumped on me i'm not going to be tasting

it personally you know i don't know where they

do that at but the people i know that's not how

we operate i was not raised that way But after

taking his little sample, Austin deduces that

this mystery liquid is actually caramel. Side

note, do you say caramel or do you say caramel?

Austin said caramel. I obviously say caramel.

I think my wife says she alternates between the

two, which I don't understand. Like, pick a side,

bro. But I guess there are like some contextual

differences. Like, I don't say. caramelized onions

i say caramelized onions but if it's just like

caramel by itself then it's caramel or like a

caramel apple you know hmm the english language

makes absolutely no sense i do not envy anyone

who has to learn it as a second language that

in itself is a superpower so shout out to you

but anyway i digress because at this point a

creepy ass figure appears And it's wearing a

yellow suit jacket, red gloves and pants and

shoes and a smiling mascot head type of thing

with a crown. And when it pops up, it says fun

size in this creepy, high pitched voice. Nope.

Fuck that. And our Fantastic Four apparently

had similar thoughts because they immediately

chop out, which I was surprised to see, you know,

considering the. ethnic makeup of this particular

group you know i would have understood if they

had a slight delay to kind of assess the situation

first but no they uh got the fuck out of there

so respect and as they're running away they notice

blood streaks on the walls pretty awkward and

along the way they also find a locked door and

it's key But before they can try the key in the

lock, Austin gets captured by the Candy King

and the gang finds him strapped to a conveyor

belt in his skimpies. Lauren starts pulling on

levers on the machine, thinking that would release

Austin for some strange reason. I have no idea

what the thought process was here. But anyway,

unsurprisingly to me at least, the machine then

starts up. And Bro is yelling at them to take

the key that he's holding in his hand and they...

don't. So once he gets pulled into the machine,

he gets chopped up and sawed up as the gang watches

helplessly and his brain, tongue, heart, other

body parts get cannedified. And when I say other

body parts, I of course am referring to his dick

and balls. So we see a dick... And its associated

balls come rolling down this conveyor belt. And

an axe or a cleaver comes down and removes the

balls or separates the balls from the base of

the penis. And this penis then gets covered in

chocolate and packaged as some candy. So yes,

that bite that Austin took earlier in this segment

with that gooey. White center was indeed someone's

penis. But as the gang is still processing this

packaged penis, the candy king shows up with

his sidekick now. And Josh grabs an axe and chops

his hand off, which then starts spewing candy

until the hand regrows. And Haley then makes

the most obvious statement of all fucking time

when she says. It's not human. Bruh. No shit.

What exactly gave it away? Was it when you got

pulled into this candy bowl? Was it when your

boyfriend magically ended up being stripped down

to his underwear and placed on a conveyor belt

and chopped into pieces as you watched his dick

be wrapped in a candy wrapper? Now would probably

be a good time to get the fuck out of there so

they start unwrapping the Austin candy and they

find the package containing his severed hand

which is still holding the key and they run off

towards the locked door and as they cross the

threshold of another door the sidekick throws

some gumballs or something on the ground that

causes Haley to slip and fall. Which results

in her being captured and dragged off screaming

into the darkness. And Lauren, because that's

her BFF, she's like, no, Haley. But Josh is like,

uh, she's gone. Let's just get the fuck out of

here. But Lauren is like, no, I have to save

my friend. And Josh at that moment was like,

fuck. He has no choice but to chase after his

fiance as she chases after her friend. And they

end up finding Haley standing at a table with

a tube up her butt. And it pumps candy inside

of her until that candy explodes out from her

face. Real nasty work. But somehow she's not

dead. And she still manages to walk over to the

conveyor belt and lay down on it. And she gets

chopped up and candified herself. Now at this

point Josh and Lauren are like okay let's really

get the fuck out of here so they go back to the

door. They manage to unlock it only to reveal

a brick wall with the plaque on it saying one

per person. Got him. Next to the door is an air

vent so they use the axe to pry off the grate

and climb inside but Lauren notices that the

bottom is a conveyor belt which is pretty awkward.

And as things start up and the saw at the end

of the little shaft or whatever begins spinning,

they try to go back. But the candy king and his

sidekick are waiting behind him and they close

the opening back up again. And as they're about

to die, Josh is like, man, I wish we could have

gotten married. But hey, wait, I have an idea.

And he starts to act like the efficient and tries

to be like. lauren do you take me to be your

lawfully wedded husband and lauren says i do

not savage bro and josh is like uh what and he

gets chopped up by the saw and turned into candy

like damn bro that is cold blooded my dude is

three seconds away from death and she just still

had to keep it a bug like nah I can't lie to

you, bro. I'm not about it. You know, I'm not

trying to give you that final comfort as you

head into your eternal rest. Fuck you. This engagement

is over. But Lauren manages to escape through

another grate off to the side and ends up outside

the building near its parking lot. And the first

thing she does when she's out in this fresh air

is try. and fail to remove her engagement ring

instead of doing something else such as I don't

know maybe running away but the candy king pops

up with his fun size and crushes her head the

footage then cuts to a mom trick -or -treating

with her two kids and the son takes a bite of

candy and says there's something metal in this

and the mom takes a look at it and sees that

it's Lauren's left ring finger the kid crunched

into her engagement ring yikes but the sun also

took two candies from the bowl and then it comes

flying at them as the segment ends wow for story

i gave fun size a three and i might be reading

too much into this but i think there was like

a central theme of like women doing what makes

them happy no matter what the cost is like Lauren

you know rejecting that fake ass marriage or

whatever the fuck that was at the end even though

dude was about to die and they weren't really

gonna get married she stood in her truth I respect

that and then with Haley at the very beginning

she had everybody leave the party because she

wanted to go get some Halloween candy and they

all We're like, all right, fine. I think Lauren

was in the backseat saying, you know, guys, if

we don't just say yes to her now, she won't let

it go. So let's just humor her or whatever. So

both of these women knew what they wanted or

didn't want, and they stood on business. So,

yeah, I can't be mad about that. But I wish there

would have been a little bit more. crumbs or

whatever that can kind of fill in some of the

blanks like i didn't understand if this was like

a parallel or pocket dimension that they got

pulled into in the candy dish or if it was like

hell or some kind of other demonic realm like

that wasn't really made clear to me you know

um again as i said before i don't necessarily

need things to be spelled out or further to be

just like exposition out the ass but just give

me enough to put the pieces together you know

leave some legos on the ground for me to assemble

for special effects i went with the rating of

a four there were some cool moments here like

when they first disappeared into the bowl it

looks like everything beneath the table was like

empty so like this magic disappearing act uh

austin with the candy machine when he's in there

his body parts obviously including his dick and

balls getting chopped up and candified that was

all done with practical effects looked really

cool the candy face explosion looked like a mix

of practical and cgi like the candy itself looked

like cgi which was interesting but like the face

and like the side and the skull edges or whatever

that looked like it was practically done which

i would have thought the two would have been

flipped situational fear i went with the score

of a four being pulled into some unknown dimension

or hellish realm whatever and being pursued by

a smiling giggling candy mascot and turned into

candy definitely seems pretty terrifying but

this crew was pretty chill about it so yeah I

uh you know they I guess they're made of sterner

stuff so based on how they were reacting I had

to lower it to a to a four and for likelihood

of death I went with a rating of a one because

this was holy avoidable like the signs that are

right there one per person just don't be greedy

don't be an asshole especially after you take

a bite of some gooey candy dick like do you really

expect the other candy to be any better like

one dick's not enough how many dicks do you need

bro so yeah better choices be a better person

you could have not been turned into candy so

likelihood of death one Which brings the overall

score for Fun Size to a 3 .0. Coming in at the

number 5 spot for best segments in VHS Halloween

is... Ut Supra Sic Infra. This segment was directed

by Paco Plaza who also co -wrote it alongside

Alberto Marini. And Paco Plaza is the Spanish

filmmaker behind the Wreck series with Marini

serving as executive producer. The first wreck

is arguably one of the greatest found footage

joints ever. And Plaza also directed 2017's Veronica.

And bro, let me tell you about Veronica. Fuck

Netflix for lying about that shit. I remember

the promo for that saying it was the scariest

movie ever known to mankind. They hyped this

shit up so fucking... And it was so underwhelming,

bro. But hey, that is a masterclass in marketing,

I guess. Just say some shit. Doesn't have to

be true. But Oots Supra Sick Infra kicks off

pretty eerily with some crime scene photos featuring

dead folks missing their eyeballs. Yikes. Clone

survivor Enric is being interrogated by the police,

and they inform him that all the corpses from

these crime scene photos have had their bones

fractured and crushed, as well as their eyes

gouged out, obviously, but the eyes weren't found

on scene. Very spooky. And Enric says that he

did it, but the cops know it's impossible for

him to have done all of that, at least not alone.

So what exactly happened? Well, the previous

night, Enric and his friends were all at a Halloween

party until one of them, Vicky, suggested they

leave to go check out an abandoned mansion where

a woman named Roberta Marconi lived. And she

was a medium who organized seances for Madrid's

elite. Once there, they entered a specific room

and things went wrong. Even their phones stopped

recording once they entered. So now that Enric

is being interrogated by the police, they want

to return to this house. with Enric and his lawyer

in order to reconstruct the previous night's

events. The segment alternates between present

day footage and cell phone footage from Halloween

night when the friends were there. And they park

and follow Vicky because she knew a hidden tunnel

to get inside. So once they go through this tunnel,

Vicky explains that on Halloween, there's a bridge

between worlds where the living and dead can

walk among one another. And the other friends

don't believe any of that shit. They're just

along for vibes, I guess. And Vicky really fucked

them on that one and set them up to fail. And

die, apparently. But the cops reach the door

to the room in the present day, and Enric freaks

out, trying to run away, and he's like falling

all over himself, remembering, you know, pieces

or fragments of what took place in here. and

dog these motherfuckers should have taken the

hint cutting back to the cell phone footage the

friends go through the door which leads to a

staircase which they ascend until they end up

in a large room with a very high ceiling and

strange images and latin writing are on the wooden

walls there's also a rotary phone sitting on

a table right in the middle of this room Someone

goes to touch it and Vicky says to leave it alone

because it wasn't there when she first discovered

this room a while back. One of her co -workers

brought her up there to smash because nothing

gets people horny quite like fucking in an abandoned

mansion that once belonged to someone who speaks

to dead people. But all right. Unsurprisingly,

things got too creepy and they left. But Vicky

really, really wants to leave at this point because

she knows something here is funky, but everyone

else still thinks it's all a big joke. Like,

oh, look, it's a cursed phone. Let's pick it

up. And they're just like, ha ha ha ha. You know,

nothing to be afraid of. And Vicky is trying

unsuccessfully to tell everyone that, hey, she

heard Roberta Marconi would use a phone to speak

with the dead. Then Enric notices a phrase on

the wall that's been written upside down, but

he manages to read it. It says ut supra sic infra,

which is Latin for as above, so below. And Enric's

like, oh, wow, spooky. And he starts dicking

around and chanting the phrase like three times.

And at that point, the phone begins to ring,

bro. Hell nah, because this shit is not plugged

into anything. It's just sitting. on a table

or on a stand in the middle of the room. That,

my friend, is what we refer to as big nope energy.

And then it cuts back to the present day where

the cops are like, hey, forensic experts told

us that it's impossible for this phone to ring

because it isn't connected to anything. And so

they brought their own to recreate it in the

present day as well. And the cops tell Enric

he's not remembering things correctly, that it's

all in his head. But as we cut back to the flashback,

Enric was the one to pick up the phone when it

rang. And Bro says he hears a voice. And then

he starts convulsing as the door to the room

slams shut. And the footage cuts out. But right

before it does, you can see that while everyone

is looking at Enric, their eyes start moving

upward. Like Bro has got to be levitating. And

back in the present day, Enric starts to say

that his stomach hurts a little bit. Hmm. Sounds

like foreshadowing to me. And the cops make him

repeat the Oodsupristic infraphraze, says it

three times again, and then their impossible

-to -ring phone begins to ring. Some brave soul,

and I use brave very, very loosely, someone goes

and answers the phone, and then Enric starts

convulsing again. And this dude begins to puke

up. Eyeballs, bro! And them shits were whole

too. That man did not take a single chew. Just

swallowed them shits. So now we know what happened

to Enric's friend's eyeballs. They have been

chilling in his stomach, which hopefully made

his tummy feel better. No more tummy aches now

that I threw up my friend's eyeballs. But apparently,

Enric also has telekinetic powers because he

makes all the cops begin to ascend towards the

ceiling. And Enric walks out of the door on the

ground and somehow emerges from another door

up by the ceiling. And it looks like he's walking

on the ceiling while everyone else is unable

to move on the quote unquote ground. And he goes

one by one and plucks out everyone's eyeballs

while they're still alive. And as they squirm

and suffer and teeter on the brink of death,

they all plummet to the ground. And definitely

are dead at that point. End of segment. For story,

I gave Ootsupra's sick infra a rating of a 3.

It was okay. I just wanted to see a little bit

more action. I like my action, you know? And

I understand why they didn't feel a need to show,

like, Vicky and the rest of Enric's friends being

killed. Because it's the exact same thing that

happened to the cops in the present day. But

I guess I wanted to see like more reasoning for

what transpired. Like what's the meaning behind

the eyeball plucking? Maybe there's some lore

that I'm just not familiar with. And that is

definitely highly possible and probably most

likely. But for those of us like me who maybe

aren't so well versed in, you know, this background,

a little bit of exposition in some fashion. Would

have been a little bit more useful. In my opinion.

For special effects. I gave a rating of a 3 as

well. The missing eyes on the corpses. The eyeball

puking. And the eyeball plucking. All of those

looked pretty cool. When they were done. And

when they were on screen. But they were just

very brief. So overall there wasn't a lot of

special effects. Utilized in this segment. As

far as like. Gore goes and what not. So situational

fear, I went with the rating of a four. People,

I think, were definitely pretty afraid right

there at the end. But for so much of their time

in this situation, I think they were just going

off of vibes. Like the party friends were having

a ball, you know, thinking it was all fake and

just doing some cool stuff on Halloween. And

the cops were just doing their job. I don't think

either party was very afraid right up until the

point that Enric began convulsing and they began

levitating and getting their eyeballs fucked

out. At that point, yes. Hella fearful, but that

was relatively brief overall. So four seems fitting.

And for likelihood of death, I went with a rating

of a four as well. For the party friends, I mean...

Obviously, they could have just like not shown

up to the house, but they thought it was all

fun and games and good vibes. So it's probably

unlikely that they wouldn't go. And as far as

answering the phone goes, Enric, I mean, he fucked

it up for everybody for sure. But again, it is

Halloween. Maybe you're thinking this is some

kind of interactive type of haunted house deal.

And, you know, Vicky is really pulled out all

the stops to get y 'all scared. So I understand

a little bit the rationale behind, you know,

picking up that phone. Me personally, I wouldn't

have done it. You know, I mean, I wouldn't have

been there to begin with. But if you're into

those kind of vibes and it is Halloween, you

know, I understand. As far as the cops go, they

were on the clock. I mean, they couldn't really

say no. It's like this is what your boss is telling

you to do. Do this or get fired and not have

a job anymore. Like they were kind of fucked

on from that front. And I mean, who would expect

that if you brought a phone with you, that it

would ring with no connection? So yeah, I mean,

they were going to be in that situation regardless.

So their likelihood of death, kind of hard to

avoid it at that point. So yeah, that brings

the overall score for Ootsupra Sig Infra to a

3 .5. Don't forget to subscribe to Terrorific

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if you wouldn't mind dropping me a rating on

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hey, beggars can't be choosers. I would greatly

appreciate that. That helps the show grow and

get exposed to a wider audience so we can all

talk about penis candy. Okay, at number four,

we have Diet Phantasma. This segment serves as

the frame narrative for VHS Halloween, and it

was written and directed by Brian M. Ferguson,

whose credits also include directing three episodes

of the 2024 TV series Bloody Bites, but he's

primarily been involved with directing bands'

music videos. The story of Die Phantasma centers

on a company known as the Octagon Company, and

it is trial testing a new soda infused with the

essence of some mysterious... Green, swirling,

fog substance type of shit. And the COO slash

man at the helm of this project is named Blaine

Rothschild. And they've been at these trials

for a while because the first test subject we

see is number 37. He takes a sip from the soda

and almost immediately starts seizing. He has

black fluid leaking out of his eyes, nose, and

mouth, and he is screaming for help. The soda

can then sprouts tentacles and lashes onto his

head. And you can really see the alien influence

here. You know, that ode to alien because it's

hugging his face and it kills him. Next, subjects

38 and 39 come up and they are a little more

wary. 38 asks if the can is nuclear and 39 just

asks if it's toxic. The Rothschild says, nah,

it's not nuclear. and then like three seconds

after he says this uh 38's can starts spewing

acid or some shit in his face and it turns it

all swollen and bloated like a corpse that's

been in the water and 38 reaches out to 39 for

help and when she takes his hands in hers his

skin slides off what the fuck 39's can then slides

across the table and shoots its tab at her which

she swallows, and before she chokes on it, it

tears itself out of her neck, slicing open her

carotid artery, and I had to look it up to see

which one it was, carotid artery or the jugular

vein, but this blood was bright red, and had

it been coming from the jugular, it would have

been more of a reddish purple, so shout out to

anatomy, but RIP Subject 39. But Rothschild will

not be deterred. We've come too far to stop now.

So subject 40 then takes a sip and says that

the soda smells like shit, but tastes pretty

good. Now, me personally, me personally, if I

if I'm smelling something and my description

is that it smells like shit, you can best believe

I will not. then be taking a sip of this shit

-smelling soda. Like, I'm just done, okay? I'm

no longer going to participate in this trial.

Keep your $5 or whatever the fuck you're paying

and kick rocks, alright? Because if it smells

like shit, odds are it might taste like shit.

And things that smell like shit also may be comprised

of shit. And I'm not trying to drink a shit soda,

but Subject 40 apparently is built a little bit

differently. Rothschild is encouraged thinking

that they finally got the formula right because

40 is chillin she seems okay and then he asked

her to finish the whole can as she reaches for

the can however her bones snap and she pukes

up gallons of that same black liquid from before

and then she's possessed and possessed 40 can

see through this one -way glass or this observation

mirror and she begins smashing her head against

it. Rothschild asks if he can get into the room

with him and his number two, Linda, says no,

everything is reinforced with some strong ass

material. They then use the air duct to suck

out whatever possessed Forty and then as she

lays there with her face all broken in and restored

to her normal self asking for help, they offer

that help. in the form of a flamethrower and

they toast her while she is still alive holy

moly but wait there's more next up is subject

41 a little boy who chugs his whole can and thinks

it's delicious he even asked for another one

and as an innocent child there's no way anything

bad can happen to him right Well, the research

team says they significantly scaled back the

formula for a smaller test subject. So yeah,

they bring 41 another can. Let's see what happens.

And as soon as he pops the tab, he explodes off

screen because he's a kid. But the observation

mirror gets sprayed with all of his blood. R

.I .P. 41. At least he got to have a delicious

soda. He didn't say it smelled like shit. well

hopefully he wouldn't say shit he's a kid he

didn't say it smelled like poop so maybe they

got a little fruity flavor for him as well that

he got to enjoy before he um detonated but now

it's time to go big or go home so we have six

subjects lined up at once subjects 42 through

47 they're all seated together and rothschild

tells them that to remember to remain seated

at all times No matter what happens. How ominous

is that? But Linda, whose coffee he just threw

his cigarette into, by the way, cautions him

that, hey, having so many test subjects at one

time is going to strain their equipment. But

he says he's impatient because it took almost

five hours to clean subject 41 off the walls.

This fucking guy. But the subjects then pop their

tabs open and the camera in the room with them

is immediately engulfed in flames as sounds of

what the subtitles literally described as unearthly

roaring and snarling echo throughout the room.

Subject 42 Soda Can grabs her hair and rips it

out of her scalp. Another subject's can grabs

his tongue and rips that shit out. And another

subject gets possessed and gouges out the eyes

of the subject next to him. Then that possessed

subject runs up to another subject who has been

pounding on the door trying to escape, grabs

and spins her around and spews that black shit

all in her face as well. What the fuck? And Rothschild

is like, what the fuck? What is happening here?

And Linda tells him again, the equipment was

only designed to handle three subjects at once.

But Rothschild presses the big red button to

extract all the essence. But signs of life remain

in the room in one subject. And it's the little

girl in the group, subject 47. She's definitely

possessed. Her eyes are like all white and milky

and shit. But she's also chill, bro. So they

deem the formula a success. this point the dead

folks get up and they get repossessed and are

about to break into the observation room after

the protections have failed and while everyone

is panicking rothschild sits down lights a cigarette

and tells them to package and ship the soda and

here it's heavily implied that all the researchers

get killed r .i .p And after VHS Halloween ends,

we get a final mid -credits scene showing that

Subject 47 is in an ad for Diet Phantasma where

it's revealed that the secret ingredient is poltergeist

extract. It's spooktacular and only one single

calorie. Wow. And 47 takes a sip, saying in a

possessed voice, It's scary how good it tastes.

And I bet that shit flew off the shelves. So

as far as story goes, I gave Diaphantasma a 4.

This was my favorite frame narrative in the entire

franchise. I don't think I've ever rated a frame

narrative story higher than the story of other

segments. I think there's been frame narratives

that weren't. The worst segment in their respective

film. But that was driven by other factors. So

this was a first for me. I really enjoyed this

one. It was a lot of fun. It was wild. It was

original. And I think my issues with other frame

narratives. Stem from like the pacing. Being

interspersed with these other segments. I felt

like made them feel. Like really choppy. But

with this one. With it's premise. Like those

breaks with the other segments. That could be

attributed to like the researchers, you know,

refining their formula. There's ways to fill

in those blanks without feeling like part of

the story is missing. And I really appreciated

that. And on top of all that, the special effects

were great. So along those lines, I gave special

effects a rating of a four. The soda can tentacles

and the leaky orifices, the bloated face of 38

and the skin sliding off his hands. 39's blood

spray on the glass looked a little bit watery

and a little unrealistic but still i appreciate

these practical effects 40's face getting all

fucked up after bashing her head against the

glass and the scalp ripping the tongue ripping

all these things i think looked overall really

strong for situational fear i went with the rating

of a 2 .5 there was a lot of mixed levels of

fear here i think so there are certain situations

where i think people were like oh shit this is

insane i'm shit in my pants you know if they're

being chased by the possessed person and all

that shit their tongues being ripped out their

scalps being ripped out etc etc however there

were also people who got possessed instantaneously

people who exploded instantaneously Dr. Rothschild

was sitting there smoking a cigarette as these

possessed corpses were beamed down the window

about to kill him. So all these different extremes

and all that, I think we just average it together

and go with that 2 .5. Likelihood of death, I

went with the 3 .5. I mean, the simplest solution

would be not to drink something that smells like

shit. That's pretty avoidable. um in 47 you know

she she managed to survive i think a lot of the

researchers once you know they saw that people

were exploding and shit they clearly understood

that they were dealing with a very volatile substance

and so i think efforts could have been made to

extricate themselves from that situation but

similar to like the cops in the last segment

It is their job, so I understand sticking around.

What choice do you have? But yeah, overall, I

think there was enough avenues to avoid death

that it's not going to be the full five, but

also enough avenues that were kind of hard to

avoid. So 3 .5 seems pretty fitting. So that

brings the overall score for Die Phantasma to

a 3 .5, which is tied with Ut Supra Sic Infra,

but Die Phantasma gets the edge on story rating.

At the number three spot for best segments in

VHS Halloween is Coochie Coochie Coo. This segment

was written and directed by Anna Zlokovic, whose

directorial credits also include 2023's appendage.

The story centers around two high school BFFs,

Lacey and Kaylee, who are trick -or -treating

one last time before college separates them.

Kaylee is going off to the Ivy League to attend

Yale while Lacey is staying behind at the local

community college, which there is nothing wrong

with that Lacey, but she was feeling some kind

of way about it. Anyway... They're hotboxing

in the car when some kids come knocking on the

window saying the mommy's gonna get you. And

bro, these kids are savages. They call Lacey

an ugly old lady and a bitch face. Like, where

are the kids learning this shit? But when Lacey

rolls the window back up, there's a big ass clawed

handprint on the glass. And it's definitely not

from the kids, but they don't notice that they

have apparently been marked by some supernatural

entity. But Lacey and Kaylee proceed to act like

a couple of assholes while they go around trick

or treating. So they're dressed as babies and

they're taking too much candy from houses. They're

snatching candy out of kids hands. twerking on

hollering decorations. Like I said, assholes.

But along the way, they overhear a couple of

moms talking about how they won't let their kids

trick or treat alone after another high school

girl went missing last year who was dressed as

a cheerleader. Sounds like foreshadowing to me.

While Lacey and Kaylee are sitting in the park

eating their candy that they have stolen from

children they notice a house nearby that they're

surprised they somehow didn't see before. Probably

because it wasn't there before but they would

have noticed that had they not been stealing

from children. And as they approach this house

they see a little girl with her family walk on

by without even taking a look at it. It's almost

as if they didn't even see it and Kaylee is like

whoa is that little girl she didn't want any

candy uh yeah looks like that's a red flag buddy

but they keep on going they knock and they ring

the bell a few times but no one answers and when

they start walking away the door creaks open

slowly and ominously and an arm extends from

the shadows holding a basket of candy and says

coochie coochie coo in a sing -songy voice before

retreating back into the darkness and i don't

think red flags get any redder than that but

lacy thinks it's a haunted house setup and she

wants to go inside and check it out and kaylee's

like nah i'm good on that but because kaylee

is leaving lacy behind as she goes to yale she's

feeling some kind of way and she subconsciously

is probably like hey this is our friendship test

i'm going to come in here are you going to leave

me aka go off to college or are you going to

follow me in here and show me that you still

care and i'm sure kaylee picked up on all this

subtext because she is a good friend and follows

her in there First thing Kaylee says when she

walks in is that it smells like a corpse inside.

And that, my friends, is known as the cue to

get the fuck out of there. But it is ignored

by our dynamic duo here. And they turn around

to see a creepy woman with a candy basket standing

in the doorway. And they accidentally knock it

out of her hand. And what appears to be a live

fetus. spills out onto the floor and kicks around

and shit like bro what the fuck the door then

closes trapping them inside in darkness and they're

starting to get a little bit scared but still

thinking that maybe this is some interactive

haunted house experience but there's some weird

shit in the house there's like a cage that looked

like someone or something sleeps in there are

large milky footprints on the ground and everything

is just dank and dirty as hell and they find

their way back to where they entered the house

originally but now the door has mysteriously

disappeared the house has appeared to rearrange

itself but the creepy woman peeks at them from

around the corner before creepily slinking away

and now shit is no longer funny The girls walk

through the house and they see like letter balloons

set up spelling it's a girl like things have

been set up for a baby shower. However, the cake

has maggots all over it. Sounds delicious. And

in this room on the mantle is a very old and

unsettling photo of a pregnant woman who was

crying, like majorly crying. Like it probably

would have sounded like she was wailing based

on how pained her face looked. Also on one of

the walls, someone has written the phrase, he

made me mommy. And it is either dried blood or

dried shit. Either one is not ideal. Lacey and

Kaylee then see and hear someone scurrying around

in the shadows and a man in a diaper pulls up

on him and he starts chewing on the doorframe.

On top of all this, his face doesn't look quite

right. He has like some abnormal baby slash chipmunk

cheeks. And they keep making their way through

the house, leaving this guy behind to do his

wall chewing or doorframe chewing. And they find

what appears to be a breast pump sitting on a

table, but it looks wrong. It has like six suction

cups on it. And then they come upon a girl who

is restrained in a chair hooked up to a machine

that appears to be forcing her to drink milk.

And while Lacey and Kaylee look for a way to

help this girl, that mysterious creepy woman

from before pops back up and she flashes. Six

leaking mommy milkers, calcium cannons, dairy

danglers. And this is apparently the mommy that

the girls were warned about by those rude ass

little kids from before. So they run away from

all those titties and they head upstairs, which

why? This is the one way you don't want to go.

And they find that cheerleader girl who went

missing last year and her face is all babyfied

as well with those big ass chipmunk cheeks. And

after barricading themselves in a room to escape

the mommy, they find a photo showing that the

mommy hung herself while pregnant. And words

appear out of thin air on the back of the photo

saying, quote, I died to be free. And I think

this is implying one of two things. I'm not sure

which one is accurate. So I think either A, this

is saying that the mommy's pregnancy was somehow

forced. Perhaps through means of sexual assault

or B, that she just doesn't feel like she'll

be a good mom and doesn't want to be a mom and

feels like she has no other way to avoid that

fate other than taking herself out. Either way,

that is some heavy stuff. And if you or anyone

you know is struggling with thoughts of suicide

or self -harm, you do not have to suffer in silence.

You are not alone. Please call or text 988 ASAP

to speak with somebody. But the mommy ends up

busting through the barricade the girls have

set up and she bear hugs Lacey so hard that she

breaks her ribs. Pretty awkward. But Lacey and

Kaylee manage to escape and they end up hiding

out and as they do, a lullaby begins playing

that puts Lacey to sleep. The mommy then finds

them and drags Lacey away. Kaylee follows the

milk trail left behind from those massive mammaries

down to the basement where there are decorations

hung that say, Welcome babies, Lacey and Kaylee.

Fuck that, bro. There's also a crib down there

with another live fetus and Kaylee finds the

mommy sitting in a rocking chair, singing a lullaby

to Lacey who has now also been babyfied along

with the cheerleader. the man baby, and the one

that was being forced to drink the breast milk.

This alibi also makes Kaylee sleepy too, and

she cuddles up to the mommy as the segment ends.

For its story, I gave Coochie Coochie Coo a rating

of a 4. It seemed like it was delivering two

messages. One, pro -choice, like for the mother,

being pregnant and hanging herself, feeling like

that was the only way to escape this fate of

bringing a child into the world under some set

of circumstances, I feel like that was kind of

an extreme metaphorical representation of how

some women can feel when their options for their

reproductive rights are limited or outright restricted

and banned in certain areas. But the fact that

the mother despite making this choice still clearly

feels some sort of maternal instinct by taking

on these five other people it's like the choice

that she made wasn't about the child itself it

was about the situation at that time so just

because a woman may not think that the current

time is right for her to be a mother Doesn't

mean that she doesn't ever want to be a mother

or that situations or circumstances can't change

down the line. And then the second message that

I interpreted was just the fear of growing up

from the girl's point of view. So going off to

college, of course, is a very scary time for

a lot of people. You're leaving the nest, you're

leaving your friends, or you might feel like

your friends are leaving you. So all these emotions

swirling around about the unknown. could you

know make someone feel like they want to just

be held by their mommy a little bit for special

effects i went with the rating of a four everything

appeared to be practically done everything looked

creepy and just kind of like gross and dirty

baby five people looked really really creepy

the mommy of course she looked wild with that

creature design the the prosthetic six breasts

and stuff just all really unsettling For situational

fear, I went with the rating of a 5. I mean,

first of all, you're in like some ghost house

that nobody else can see. Then the door gets

shut behind you and disappears. You have no way

out. You're seeing some random woman with a bowl

of candy blurring you and saying coochie coochie

coo in a creepy ass voice. You see a man, baby,

and a diaper. You see a person in a like a straight

jacket being fed breast milk and a six tittied

woman coming at you and singing to you and shit.

Yeah, bro, like that is a lot of moments worthy

of shitting one's pants, in my opinion. And finally,

for likelihood of death, I went with the rating

of a one because the mommy wasn't trying to kill

anybody. She just wanted to have her babies with

her for eternity or whatever. Yeah, she made

no attempts to take anybody out. And plus, all

this could have been avoided anyway had Lacey

not walked inside of some random mystery house

dark -ass doorway with a hand, like a disembodied

hand with a candy bowl saying coochie -coochie

-coo. I mean, that is Halloween 101. Do not enter

strange houses. I mean, shit, that's life 101

if we're being honest. But this segment spiritually

feels like it could be related to Barbarian,

the other half of Barbarian, where Barbarian

focused on the physical fallout of navigating

society as a woman and those tangible impacts,

whether it's misogyny, sexism, or physical violence.

I feel like Coochie Coochie Coo kind of looks

at it. like the other side of the coin from the

emotional vantage point, how you're navigating

those feelings of motherhood and whatnot. But

that brings the overall rating for Coochie Coochie

Coo to a 3 .5 with its situational fear rating,

giving it the tiebreaker over Diet Phantasma.

Coming in at the number two spot for best segments

in VHS Halloween is Home Haunt. This segment

was written and directed by Micheline Pitt Norman

and R .H. Norman, whose works also include the

2021 short Grummy. The story of Home Haunt centers

on a family consisting of husband Keith, wife

Nancy, and son Zach, who has an annual tradition

of setting up an elaborate haunted house in their

backyard every Halloween, and it's named Dr.

Mortis' House of Horrors. Now, Zach has served

as the assistant, igor to his dad dr mortis but

now he's a moody teen and doesn't want to do

it anymore he gets trolled about it at school

and thinks it's the reason why he can't pull

chicks and his dad is like oh you think that's

the reason why savage but zach's like hey you're

being a dick keith And he's done with all the

bullshit. And he doesn't want to end up like

him when he's older. Like, oof, that boy took

the knife, punched it in deep, and twisted that

shit. Well, that's wild, though. My man is letting

his son talk to him like that. And Nancy was

sitting there, too, and letting him talk to her

husband like that. If that was me in either one

of those seats, I'd be like, what'd you say?

nah son there's gonna be some consequences like

you're gonna lose your keys or whatever you know

what i mean you're trying to pick up chicks like

hell no bro you're not going to the school dance

like you are gonna be grounded mister but uh

keith's just like ah whatever he's being a moody

kid and nancy's like i'll go talk to him and

work my magic and she manages to convince zach

to play igor one last time to humor his daddy

so the father and son ride off to the local thrift

store to go get wardrobe and props and stuff

keith finds a back room that's been roped off

by a staff only sign but ignoring signs seems

to be the theme of this movie so he moves it

out of the way and heads in He finds an old chest

with the record inside titled Halloween Horrors

and being the great role model that he is, he

steals it. So the shit even comes with a warning

though. It says, listener, beware. He who invokes

the song of Samhain on All Hallows Eve lets loose

the riders of hell with a symphony of the damned.

And Keith thinks this will be the perfect theme

for the haunt, Symphony of the Damned. well halloween

night arrives and the haunt has a nice little

line going including zach's little crush and

a neighbor who shows up just for the purpose

literally solely for the purpose of telling keith

that everything looks like bro that is some real

commitment to hating i hope when i reach my angry

old man phase my curmudgeon phase i hope that

i can hate with the same amount of commitment

that this guy right here rich demonstrated inside

the hall they have a nice spooky setup with the

gramophone in the middle of the room and after

keith gives his spiel or i'm sorry after dr mortis

gives his spiel they put on the halloween horrors

record to commence the symphony of the damned

lights start flickering objects fly off shelves

nancy is looking real nervous but keith is trying

to play it cool as if this is all part of the

act and he's trying to stay in character telling

the spirits to hear their song and open wide

the gates of hell well buddy be careful what

you wish for because they proceed into the next

part of the haunt and the door slams shut behind

them unable to be open and nancy's like what

the fuck keith this is a fake door why can't

we open it and he's like um not quite sure there

dear and hating ass rich says that a fake ghost

looks like shit because my man had one job and

he was committed to accomplishing it well keith

is like hey man that one's not mine bro and this

fake ghost it's like a little sheet descends

over rich and him all the way up resulting in

spraying a fountain of blood all over his wife

and now has hit the fan the decorations come

to life as more sheet ghosts start flying around

and killing folks ripping them into pieces while

the survivors enter the crypt portion of the

haunt and actual corpses rise out of the tombs

in there and start tearing people up and to this

point vhs halloween has demonstrated that kids

are not safe and it really drives that point

home here where a little boy wearing a bumblebee

costume gets jumped on by these corpses and they

rip this man into pieces god damn boy if keith

survives this shit the lawsuits he faces are

going to be insane And unfortunately, one of

the victims is Zach's little crush. He gets like

her chin torn off. Really nasty work. And her

friend loses her shit and just runs off, leaving

her little sister behind, bro. But here's the

catch. She runs into the torture chamber. The

survivors follow her and she's attached to an

electric chair while a big ass hooded executioner

is in there with an axe. Hayden asks Rich's wife

catches an axe above the knee and when she's

crawling around on the ground the executioner

comes up and literally splits her head open like

a watermelon. The practical effects here bro

went insane. But then Nancy just starts going

ham. Keith grabs the executioner from behind

to pull him away from his pursuit of Zach and

when he throws Keith off him. His mask gets pulled

off and he's distracted by his exposed and busted

ass face so Lindsay capitalizes on this opportunity,

grabs the axe that's on the ground and chops

him in the gut. Then she pulls the axe out resulting

in some of his guts spilling out, hits him in

the head with it and one more time for good measure

to decapitate him. But the only way out of this

haunt is to make it through all the rooms. They

can only go forward. So as they approach the

last one, Zach is afraid to enter. But his dad

reassures him that he'll keep him safe. And Zach

calls him dad for the first time all segment.

Bro, get the fuck out of here. So he's Keith

when you think you're hot shit. But dad, when

you start shitting your pants, that's straight

pussy old behavior, bro. But as his parents try

to get Zack to be a brave big boy, they realize

that the little sister who was abandoned by the

friend who got fried in the electric chair has

walked over to the final room all alone like

a big dummy. And when they follow her in there,

they see her inside of a witch's cauldron getting

her finger chewed off as she boils. Pretty awkward.

and apparently Zach learned how to fight from

his daddy and not his mom because the witch knocks

him down on the ground and starts clawing his

face up but MVP Nancy says fuck all of that and

she grabs the witch by the hair and seemingly

drowns her in the boiling cauldron bro Nancy

is carrying these boys right now and Keith got

knocked out by the way This boy is slacking hard.

But the family makes it out and escapes the haunt.

But unfortunately, so does the witch. She's not

dead after all. She comes flying out on her broomstick

and grabs the camera out of Zach's hand as she

zooms by. And while she's flying down the street,

she is snatching up trick -or -treaters, grabs

one, and tears their head off. And she impales

another one with her broomstick and tears his

guts out as she flies around the sky with him

still lodged on the tip of her broomstick. And

finally, the footage ends as the big demon head,

which had been adorning the entrance to the haunt,

comes alive too with its massive hands rising

like it's climbing up from the depths of hell.

End of segment. The story, I gave Home Haunt

a rating of a 4. I thought it was a lot of fun,

a lot of chaos involved. A lot of bodies got

dropped, a lot of action. And it's a story that

I would like to see the conclusion of, or at

least the continuation of. I think it could benefit

from that no -wake and ambrosia treatment where

we have that second segment. That continues things

like maybe told from the point of view of the

witch who's still flying around wreaking havoc

or that big ass demon that's now roaming the

earth. Or better yet, show us from the point

of view of Nancy as she becomes like a monster

hunter trying to eliminate these, you know, nefarious

beings that her husband has released upon the

planet. That could be pretty cool. For special

effects, I went with a rating of a 5. There was

some CGI on the flying ghosts early when things

started popping off, but there was also like

practical blood effects mixed in there as well.

And the little kid in the bumblebee costume who

got ripped apart, that was done practically and

it looked insane. Then when Zack's little crush

got her scalp and chin torn off, that was also

practically done. And this seemed like one of

those... you know hypothetical questions that

people ask their significant other like would

you still love me if i didn't have a chin well

zach what's your answer here my boy because remember

looks fade but personality is forever who needs

a chin right other special effects highlights

include the abandoned little sisters boiled remains

in the cauldron and of course that head split

with the axe just off of that by itself This

could have probably gotten like a 4, 4 .5. But

yeah, when you roll it all together, definitely

a solid 5 for special effects. For situational

fear, I went with the rating of 5 as well. I

mean, you are locked in this confined, relatively

confined space with these undead, demonic, supernatural,

paranormal, whatever type of creatures. And you

can only escape by going deeper through the attraction.

That is crazy. That is crazy. You're watching

people around you get torn apart. Watching kids

get torn in half and chins get ripped off. Yeah

nah. Fear level hella high. Pants hella shitty.

But all this could have been avoided with one

different decision. So for likelihood of death.

I gave Home Haunt a rating of a two because Keith,

why did you have to steal the record? Why did

you have to ignore the sign that said staff only?

And most importantly, why did you ignore the

warning that said if you play this record on

Halloween night, you will unleash dead upon the

earth or whatever it said. And the symphony of

hell like, bro, you had at least three chances.

to not fuck it up for everybody else and you

drop the ball so yeah likelihood of death hella

avoidable for everybody if keith just made better

choices so that brings the overall rating for

home haunt to a 4 .0 and last but not least the

42nd segment that we are breaking down in the

vhs franchise the final segment at least until

they release a new film And our number one ranked

segment from VHS Halloween is Kid Print. Kid

Print was written and directed by Alex Ross Perry,

whose credits also include 2018's Her Smell,

starring Elizabeth Moss, and a slew of music

videos. The story of Kid Print centers on a man

named Tim Kaplan, who is the owner of Kaplan

Electronics. And he provides a service called

KidPrint, where they record videos of kids and

teens to serve as the most up -to -date identification

in case those kids go missing. Now, why, may

you ask, does this company or business provide

such a specific service? Well, the town has been

hit with a wave of kidnappings and brutal murders.

And a news report says that police are having

a lot of trouble with the case because they can't

find a common thread between the victims. They

have been of varying ages, come from different

parts of town, etc. But as Tim wraps up shooting

a kid printing video for a mother and her daughter,

we get to meet a few of the other employees at

the store. We see Alicia, who works at the counter.

Miles in the back who does stock and also in

the back is Bruce the guy who handles all the

tech stuff. But Tim closes down the shop early

to head home to get ready to take his kids trick

-or -treating but the town is having like a lockdown

version. It's just a few dozen people heading

to the town square in broad daylight while cops

hand out one piece of candy to everyone before

they must go home. Tim walks around recording

everything for public safety, he says, hoping

to capture the bad guy on film and be hailed

as the local hero. While at the town square trick

-or -treating extravaganza, Tim is wondering

why everyone is acting so uptight. Gee, I wonder

why, my guy. And a friend tells him that another

teen named Olivia Hamill has just gone missing.

She went over to grab something from her car

and simply vanished. Olivia had a kid print video

made, but her parents are just a little bit too

stressed to go back home to pick up their copy

right now. So a cop asked him to go back to his

store to get the backup so they can run it on

the news ASAP. So Tim goes back to the store

after hours and once he enters he hears sounds

of screaming. He thinks someone left the TV on

a horror movie or something but as he goes into

the back he sees at Bruce's tech station that

there are videos playing of kidnapped kids being

tortured. So it would appear that Bruce is the

one who has been terrorizing the community. Tim

then hears muffled sobbing and yelling coming

from the other side of the store and goes to

investigate. His shoes are a little loud here

though so he has the awareness to kick them off

but once he enters this new area all awareness

is immediately lost. He sees Olivia Hamill who

is clearly sobbing and saying please let me go.

She is Clearly speaking to somebody who is not

Tim, so logically one would assume that she is

speaking to her kidnapper slash attacker. But

this fucking guy Tim just walks in and is like,

hello? Like a fucking dummy. So Bruce is like,

oh hey Tim, I see you decided to come in and

work the weekend shift with me, huh? And he attacks

him. In this back part of the store is where

they film the kid print video. So Bruce is shooting

his own twisted version, psychologically torturing

his victims before he physically tortures them.

Footage then cuts in showing how Bruce lures

his victims to the store. He's out there in the

streets with his video camera, comes across a

teen boy, and he's telling them that they have

cool tech back at the store and he should come

check it out. And the kid's like, okay, sounds

super cool. Footage then cuts back to Tim's camera

as Bruce drags him to his captive room and beats

his knee with a hammer. But while he was being

dragged back, Tim was hardly resisting and spent

most of the time asking what Bruce was doing.

Like, bro, what the fuck? Where is your awareness

of the situation at hand? Why are you trying

to have a conversation with the dude who was

clearly... The serial killer that has been terrorizing

your community. Like on those videos that Tim

had seen playing on Bruce's station, Bruce was

like carving people's skin off, carving people's

faces off. And so once Tim is laying on the ground,

writhing in pain, holding his knee, Bruce takes

one of those carved off faces that he turned

into a mask and ties it onto Tim. And awkwardly,

the kid who the face belongs to is also in this

room and he's still alive. So he understandably

freaks out when he sees Tim wearing his face.

So he grabs the hammer and hits him in the head.

And bro just loses his mind and is just screaming

hysterically at the sight of his own face. He

even tries to put it back on and it just slides

off. Absolutely crazy work. Bruce then brings

Olivia down to the room too and she tells Faceless

Boy that Tim was upstairs which means he must

be working with Bruce. She then proceeds to stab

Tim and she keeps stabbing him while Faceless

Kid beats him in the head with a hammer. Tim

helplessly tries to tell them he's innocent but

ultimately succumbs to his injuries and dies.

R .I .P. Tim. Here I am thinking these kids are

true survivors. But then Olivia and Faceless

Kid exit the room and leave their weapons behind.

Oh my goodness. We then hear sounds off screen

of Bruce beating them to death with his weapon.

And footage cuts to a news report calling Tim

the Butcher of Ardmore. Everything has been pinned

on him. Olivia and the Faceless Kid, whose name

is really Drew according to the report, but I'm

committed at this point. Their bodies have yet

to be found. The news anchor interviews Bruce,

who laments what has happened, but he's committed

to continuing the KidPrint service for the sake

of the children. Absolutely diabolical. The final

shot of the segment is of a girl screaming in

front of the KidPrint board with the date saying

November 4th, showing that Bruce has indeed continued

his reign of terror. For story, I gave Kid Print

a rating of a 5. I thought it was one of the

more disturbing segments in the entire franchise.

It seemed more grounded in reality, which ups

the fear factor to a certain extent. Bruce appeared

to be this mild -mannered, just regular -ass

dude, but meanwhile, he's out here just doing

crazy stuff, and that is a very scary thought.

And something that is definitely plausible and

realistically can exist and does exist in the

world today. Four days, though, seems like an

awfully short amount of time to wait before starting

back on your spree, though. Like, what's the

point of having a patsy if you, you know, destroy

that facade in less than a week? Are you trying

to pass this off as a copycat? I don't know,

that seems a little bit silly to me. Not that

I'm advocating for serial killers to make better

choices or to be more intelligent in covering

their tracks, but I'm just saying. For special

effects, I went with a rating of a 5 as well.

I mean, there was some pretty gnarly visuals

in this segment. Bruce peeling the skin off his

victims, it's all gooey and just looks gross

and he's... pulling off faces and wearing them

like a mask and putting the mask on other people

as well. But normally when someone gets their

face carved off or peeled off, they're just,

they're cooked immediately. So I thought it was

a nice touch having Faceless Kid survive that

ordeal and be able to see his own face freak

out and try to put it back onto his face like

that. Added a more memorable element not only

to the story but also to the special effects

in my opinion. Situational fear of course has

to get a 5. I mean you're trapped in a basement

having your face carved off and being forced

to wear it again like a mask. Yeah that is terrifying.

Nuff said. And finally, for likelihood of death,

I went with a rating of a 3 because most of this

was pretty avoidable. Step 1, don't follow a

stranger back to the store just because he tells

you he has cool stuff there. And number 2, if

you're Tim and you hear signs of people in danger,

screaming, sobbing, and begging for help in their

life, maybe don't walk in just saying hello.

You had the wherewithal to take your shoes off

because they were making too much noise, but

then you walk in and make even more noise by

saying hello. Makes no sense. So yeah, if Tim

had been a little bit more aware of his surroundings,

I think he could have gotten the drop on Bruce

and saved himself, Olivia, and Faceless Kid at

least. But hey. Live and you learn. Or in this

case, you learn and then you die. Or maybe he

never learned at all. I don't know. But that

brings the overall score for Kid Print to a 4

.5. Very strong. And I think it's going to shake

up our top rankings. So to recap the ratings

for every segment from VHS Halloween. First,

we have Fun Size with a 3 .0. Then we had Oot

Supra Sick Infra with a score of 3 .5, followed

by Diet Phantasma, also with a score of 3 .5,

but it got the edge on the tiebreaker on story

quality versus Oot Supra Sick Infra. Coochie

Coochie Coo, also with its score of 3 .5, got

the tiebreaker over Oot Supra Sick Infra based

on story quality and the tiebreaker over Diet

Phantasma based on situational fear. At number

two, we had Home Haunt with that 4 .0. And of

course, number one, Kid Print with its 4 .5.

So our final top five segments in the VHS franchise,

and I say final with an asterisk, if they make

a ninth film or beyond, I will rank those segments

as well. For now, or maybe forever, at number

5, supplanting Stork, we have Kidprint from VHS

Halloween with a score of 4 .5. At number 4,

we have Nowake slash Ambrosia from VHS 85 with

a score of 4 .63. At number 3, we have Live and

Let Die from VHS Beyond with a score of 4 .75.

At number two, we have Safe Haven from VHS2,

also with a score of 4 .75, but it got the edge

over Live and Let Die on special effects. And

at number one, the top segment in the entire

VHS franchise, according to Terrorific, is The

Subject from VHS94 with that score of 4 .88.

But that's all for me. Hope you enjoyed this

season. I know I did. If you have been ranking

the segments yourself, then let me know. I want

to see how we compare. Don't forget to tell your

friends, your grandma, your neighbor about your

favorite horror film podcast. I'll see you in

a few months for season four. Still haven't decided

what the theme is going to be. I have a few things

jotted down, but need to nail that down and then

get my film roster. So since this season only

had eight episodes, I'm targeting season four,

perhaps having 12, just so we can get back to

that 10 episode per season average. But no promises.

We'll see. But in the meantime, remember, always

keep it spooky.

Pen15 Candy Co. (VHS Halloween)

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